The Epidemic

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It gets you with the ears,

Captures you with the eyes, 

Don't turn on the radio - 

You have to be wise. 

The absurd visions, 

The heavy-hearted falling,

It's all you hear

When they start talking.

The males are immune,

They are the disease, 

Causing wild shrieking,

Until the infected begin to weaze.

It begins with a fever, 

Then symptoms of five, 

From Canada, and the U.K., 

Please promise me you'll be wise. 

Listen to your own music,

other wise you'll catch it, 

the epidemic, the contagion,

caused by Bieber and One Direction.


Five symptoms (not in order of progression):

  - hyperventilating

  - uncontrollable drooling

  - fanfic-based delusions

  - hearing loss

  - fainting

This will ultimately lead to:

  - loss of friends with good taste in music

  - jokes concerning the topics of: orgies, the newest religion (no, it's not scientology, you bastards)

    where there are five gods, and... well, mostly sexual jokes.

  - battles with the BVB army (not really a symptom, but inevitable all the same)

  - psychotic breaks ( in which stalking, cat fights, and heightened morbid obessions take place.)


Alright, so some of you may be like: You took that a bit far, don't you think?

Yeah, whatever. It's sarcasm. Never heard of it? You live under a rock.

Just throwing this message out to all of you. BEWARE. 

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