Cole.

21. Oops?

I threw up.

Right in the parking lot.

With several people watching me.

It was disgusting, the thought of dating my brother.

“What do you mean Paulina is my half-fucking-sister? You knew I was dating Benjamin, who I know find out is my half-brother. What the hell is wrong with you people! Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me this before, we dated for three god damn years. Does Paulina even know?” I was fuming, the disgust inside of me made me want to throw up on my parents, who were standing there with this confused look on their faces, trying to figure out what was going on, why I was so upset. “You’re telling me I dated my half-brother for three god damn years!?”

My mother shook her head, taking in a few deep breathes, “No Derek, Benjamin has a different dad from Paulina, so he’s not related to you in the slightest. Stop freaking out over this, calm down and take a deep breath. Do you not think we would have stopped you and told you earlier if there was a chance he was your half-brother?”

Do you notice when you say calm down to someone, it just makes them more aggravated? Well, now you know my exact feelings right now. “You’re telling me to calm down!? Calm down because I just found out I have a half-sister who is the half-sister of my ex-boyfriend who could have possibly been MY half-brother, thus making our whole relationship an incest mess of emotions? But no, I need to be CALM!?” I didn’t really mean to spit it out the way I did, but when you’re an overly emotional gay man, things just come out a little dramatic all the time.

Smack.

I turned my head to look at Kendall, whose face was turning a slight tinge of red. She looked down at the ground, “I’m sorry. But you are being overdramatic Derek. She just told you he isn’t your brother, what more do you want? Paulina is your half-sister, it’s a done deal, and you can’t change that.”

I glared at her, gritting my teeth in what felt almost like hatred, “You know nothing about this, Kendall. Do you even realize how fucked up this really is? My half-sister is the sister of my ex-boyfriend, how hard is that to understand? I’m not supposed to jump to conclusions, but what the fuck!?” I took my wheels and started to solely wheel away, which wasn’t really a totally awesome idea, seeing as walking past me was simple. I felt someone grab the handles and start walking, I was scared to look behind me, but I did anyways. Cole smiled at me.

“It’s okay Derek; I understand where you’re coming from. I would be freaked out if I was in your situation. But at least they told you the truth, even if it seemed like it was a late arrival.” He ruffled my hair and I couldn’t help but smile, he really had a way with words.

As he walked, and I just listened to the sounds of the hospital, I really felt like everything was looking up. Maybe Paulina was my half-sister and maybe she was a super bitch, but at least I know that she’s related to me, maybe she would like to know too, and maybe we can finally put our pasts behind us and continuing working to a better future. Or maybe I could just be living in a day dream, because as soon as I thought about all the possibilities, I saw him standing at the doorway.

I could hear Cole’s erratic breathing and the clenching of his fists on the handles of the wheelchair, “What do you want?”

It was so cold, and it almost sounded like he growled. Is It sad I’m getting turned on by the thought he growled? Anyways … I looked over at Benjamin, who was leaning on the door frame, his hands in his pockets and a stupid look on his face. “Yes Benjamin, what do you want?”

“I need to talk to you.” He motioned his finger towards Cole, “Without your little bodyguard there.”

Why did everyone need to talk to me now? Why couldn’t they talk to me later?

“Fine. Cole, could you please leave me with this asshat and get me some hospital egg sandwiches?”

Huffing, he looked me in the eyes, “Seriously. You want to talk to this guy?”

I just smiled and touched his hand, “I think we have some issued we need to resolve before I can truly be happy with you. It won’t take more than twenty minutes. Then you can take me home … to either mine or your place as long as you’re there.”

Kissing me, he turned around and started walking away, knowing everything would be okay. I wheeled myself into my room and turned to Benjamin, who seemed to be pretty shocked at what Cole just did, but his eyes were telling me a different story.

Clearing my throat, I motioned towards the door, “Is this an open door conversation?”

He looked at me with a dumfound look and then realized what I mean, “Oh yea. I guess not.” He closed the door and turned back to me, sighing, “I wanted to talk about those pictures and why I did it. I need you to see my side of the story, I really fucked up, I know this. But Derek, do you know how hard it was seeing you again? Any feeling ever had just came rushing back and the dam I built wasn’t strong enough.”

I rolled my eyes, he would really say anything to get me back. Did he not understand the last time I told him to fuck off?

“Kirin made me a proposition, he had pictures to give to you. It would ruin your thoughts on dating Cole, which would free him up for Kirin and then you would be emotional and need support, which I would give and eventually we’d get back into the rhythm of things. Please understand how much I need you, I can’t stand to live without you. I lost you for a stupid reason and I want you back, Cole will never love you the way I do. Trust me. I’ve talked to Kason.”

Was he really trying to justify this by bringing in Cole’s crazy ex into this? “I wouldn’t believe anything that guy has to say, he tried to kill me in an elevator and then proceeded to try and grope Cole while I was still trapped in an elevator that gave out ten second later.”

“He was just trying to save you from heartbreak. I promise you that Derek, Cole will not be the one for you. He’s going to hurt you.”

I gave him a cold look, glaring into his now red eyes, “And you didn’t hurt me? Benjamin, you left me after three years to be with your boss. Do you not think that hurt? I may have forgiven you for being the worst possible human being, bit I have not forgotten and I will never forget. You gave me pictures with the malicious intent to make me fall in love with you again. You will never be welcomed back into my life and I do not want to go back to the way we were just to be hurt again. You can use the door and get the hell out of here.”

He stepped back, a heavy sigh leaving his lips, “I have one more thing to tell you before I leave. I know about Paulina, I happened to be outside when your parents said her name. I heard the conversation. I wish we were brothers though, because that means you’d be stuck with me even if you want me out of your life.”

I was taken aback, I didn’t expect him to know about that, “Does she know about it?”

He gave me a knowing look, sadness covering his facial features, “Yes, she knew a few months back when the guy who she’s called father for five years told her. Of course, she was shattered. But she was looking at a way to make you see that she wanted to change. She does want to be the sister you never had. She just can’t be there for you if you still have Kendall in your life, she’s poison to Paulina.”

A disgusted look came over my face, “I will never stop being friends with Kendall, she is the sister I never had. I want nothing to do with that girl at all. She’s a god damn prick. Now, you can leave and I can get some rest, I’m leaving tonight. Goodbye Benjamin, please don’t bother me again or I’ll get a restraining order.”

He looked hurt, but I knew it had to be said, “Okay Derek. Please be safe.” He moved closer to me and before I could stop him, his lips met with mine and he gave me a kiss. As he backed up, I stuttered something before Cole entered the room.

“You son of a bitch!”

I was screaming at Cole to leave it be as he wound up and punched Ben in the face, sending him sprawling into the chairs by the window. He struggled to get his balance back, looking at Cole. Before I knew what was happening, Cole punched him again.

And that’s when he lost his balance completely and hit the window, smashing through it and tumbling out the side.

That’s the day I was sure Cole had killed someone.