Desperation of My Mind

9-30-17

Hey. Thanks for reading my shitty journal of my shitty life. (Trigger Warning)

I hate mornings. 

I have to remember what causes my troubles.

The pain I caused myself.

Why did I do this?

It's all my fault.

I hate myself for this...

Why? 

Everything I do is my fault and mine only.

Mom says, You are so selfish. Think of someone other than your self!

Dad drags me to and fro, throws me, yelling, then later he says he was wrong.

I don't believe you. Never will.

My brother runs from me, never talking to me.

Screams, shrieks and cries fill the room.

I don't remember who from anymore.

I can't stand the voice in my head...

I take the blade...

Dig into my skin...

Fall to sleep...

Wake up... 

Repeat

Repeat

Over

and

over.