Back to Middle School (Frerard/MCR)

Absence.

My words cause an immediately silence to fall over the room. Ray freezes, and Mikey looks over at me like a lost child.

" I-I don't know..." Mikey mumbles, staring at the ground. I pull my lips between my teeth and nod. I could just break him out I suppose. Of course getting past security and or trying to convince them he's not a danger to society isn't going to be a picnic.... Oh well. Gerard is my best friend well, almost boyfriend... But I love him. I'm going to save him and nobody's going to stop me.

Gerard doesn't belong in that place. He's too innocent, there is truly insane, violent people in there. I don't want my baby getting viciously murdered by a raging sociopath. His diagnosis is very rare, they might even do tests on him. He's terrified of needles and they've got all kinds of needles in there.... No. No no no. I'm going to get him safe.

• • •

Later, Mikey and Ray agreed I could go home. I pull into my driveway and walk into the empty mess of a home. I quickly grab a beer and sit on the couch with my feet kicked up on the armrest opposite to where I'm laying my head. I finish that one. And a second, and third and fourth until
my vision is slightly blurred. I'm in a haze from the alcohol in my system.

But being me, even this doesn't make me not feel. Having a perpetual lump of sadness weighing you down is stressful. All I seem to do is feel. I feel so much, that I've become numb. All my emotions mixed to be come a blur of feelings that even I don't understand.

I can blame it on the shooting, I can blame in on my absent father, I can blame in on Gerard even. But I won't. Because some people are meant to be fifty shades of fucked up.

I soon pass out on the worn sofa, empty bottles cluttered around me.

•••

I wake after a good twenty minutes. Not much is wrong, headache and the usual but that's nothing I can't handle. Ether way I need to do something. I'm fairly useless, but I have my guitar. I walk into my room, grabbing my guitar and amp along with a pick, pen and my writing journal.

Let's channel my rage into some music.

Plugging my guitar into the amp, I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. They threatened to spill over as I slumped on the ground. My breathing was shaky as I forced myself to sit straight, wrapping my left hand around the neck of the guitar.

" Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you." I begin softly, strumming chords as them come through my head.

" 'Cause we are all a bunch of liars.
Tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?
And we are all about to sell it,
'Cause it's tragic with a capital T.
Let it be, Let it be, Let it be! " The tears in my eyes began streaming down my face, and the soft singing was straining my throat as I forced down sobs.

" 'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
(Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
(Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
It's been eight bitter years since I've been seeing your face.
(Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
And you're walking away, and I will die in this place....." The guitar slipped through my fingers and slid off my lap onto the carpeted floor. The water in my eyes splashing onto my jeans and shirt. I burrowed the heels of my palms into my eyes, trying and failing to stop the constant flow if water.

I let myself scream out sobs, hearing them bounds around the walls of the house. The only thing stopping my wails of despair were the off hiccups that tore through my whole being. I struggled to my feet, falling against everything to get the the phone. I need to call Mikey or Ray.... I can't be alone.... I can't think about....

The cellphone clattered into the floor as I fell, slamming my head on the corner of the counter so hard I felt the gash without touching it. I laid on the floor, limbs sprawled out in extremely odd fashions. The tears from my eyes and blood from my head mixed together making the whole situation much worse for everyone.

Kill me....please....just kill me, I'm worthless......

• • •

" Frank! Frank wake up, please wake up....please we can't lose you too..." Mikey shook me awake. I opened my eyes, looking at him and touching the back of my head. It felt sticky and wet. I recoiled my hand looking at my hand and being shocked to see red liquid coating my fingers.

" Wha...What happened?" I asked, sitting up and taking the ice pack from Ray. They sighed.

" You were drunk and you fell. We swung by to check on you. You slammed your head on the kitchen counter." Ray explained, sitting on the sofa by my feet. I nodded slowly. They sigh, exchanging glances.

" We stopped by the hospital." Ray said.

" They said Gerard can't leave for a long time..." This only added to the pounding in my head. I slumped back down as Mikey buried his face in his hands. Ray wrapped his arm around Mikey's lanky shoulders, pressing a small kiss on his temple.

I sigh again, holding the ice to my wounded head.

Heaven help us.

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I'm sososososososososososososososososososo so so so, so sorry this chapter is so short. I promise the next one will be longer, this chapter is a bit of a filler. Thank you all for all the support, tell me what you think in the comments and leave a vote to make me happy.

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUUUU!!!•^•