rue destiny

three

When Isibel returned home it was dark outside. She walked into the house and that was the worst of it. The house was a living hell that incubated the past. The memories of her happiness. Upon opening the door, the room was nearly dark and things were sallowed, grayed out. She was a bad mother. She'd removed all of his things. Every little thing. The pictures he'd drawn that had been taped to the walls. She'd ripped them down one by one. His clothes. Friends and family had said don't rush. It's too soon. You'll want some of this.

She didn't want any of it. If it was over, it would be over.

She mourned. Then the government came. They came to collect whatever was left of her son's life. They didn't want the drawings and the little 6-year-old boy pairs of pants. They wanted his documents, they wanted his records. They'd thought he was something else but she'd protested so much, her plight was gaining attention. She'd publicly announced that she had evidence of his genetic purity.

She walked down the dimly lit hall. When she got to the bedroom she stood in the doorway. She could see a duffle bag on the bed, half open. Nole was packing. He was dressed in his military issue clothes. Black, gray, and brown camouflage pants. A black t-shirt. He didn't notice her for a moment. He was as tall as Caius but had a completely different physique. He had a strong but slender frame. He was less decisive than Caius and he carried that in his manner. In most ways that was a very good thing, it made him considerate and thoughtful. It had made him a good father. He had been patient with Kell and paid close attention to the things that had been important to their young son.

For a split second she longed for him.

Nole looked up and their eyes met. He subtly shook his head before turning and walking back over to the closet.

Isisbel walked into the room and stood near the bed, close to where he was packing.

He threw a pair of pants into the sack. Then his blue eyes looked into hers and stayed fixed a moment. "Where were you?"

Only then did she realize she was draped in wet clothing. She removed her overcoat and took off her vest underneath. She threw them on the bed. She was wearing wool pants and a long sleeved white shirt. She stood watching him for a moment, unconsciously ran her fingers over her steel wedding band.

Nole stopped packing and looked up at her. "Out?"

Instinctively she straighter her hair. She felt faint, tired from all of it. "Where are you going?"

"Where were you?"

She moved over and sat down on the bed. Her eyes filled with tears. "I went back to mom and dad's house." She looked up at him.

He nodded still angry, but then softened when their gaze met. "I don't know how you can do it. That's where Kell died — ."

" — Was killed." Her voice was hoarse.

Nole nodded. "Yes. Was killed."

" — a small child. Killed." She covered her face with her hands. "And they found out they were wrong, that his DNA was pure. But that didn't change anything."

Isibel waited but he didn't add to it. She hated this about him. His restraint or paralysis. He would just stop talking and the gulf between them would widen, it would deepen. It was like a child hiding in an obvious place, only he thinks he can't be seen.

"Are we done with the conversation?" she snapped and stood up, looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair had been held up under her knitted cap, under the parka. It was damp from sweat as she loosed it and it fell down her back.
"I'm leaving tonight. I'll be gone four weeks. I don't want — "