After Christmas, I didn't talk to my dad at all, so when Easter came I decided I wanted to give it another shot. I didn't bother with the phone argument this time. I took a deep breath and walked up to the door that leads into what used to be my house. When I came in, I didn't get a welcome, or I guess I did but it was my dad yelling at me about something I didn't do. I sat in my room, crying about something he had said, when he comes in and corners me, like a hunter after its prey. He sat next to me on my bed and I move away so that there is space between us, but he moves closer. I eventually run out of places to hide, so I get up to leave. He grabs my wrist, I struggle but he is obviously stronger than me, so I am pulled back onto the bed. I resign to the fact that I can't leave, so I try to zone out. I succeed for the most part, but he catches my attention when he started saying how I am a disgrace, and all the mistakes and things I have done wrong. He tells me how I am the reason he is fighting with his girlfriend, how he had hoped to let me have a normal family even after he and my mom divorced and how I had screwed that up, how I am the reason they divorced, etc. But eventually he started saying things like, "my daughter would never have done that" or, " you can't be my daughter, because if you where you wouldn't have said that" It got to the point where he was saying, "you aren't my daughter anymore, I don't want you here, you are a disgrace to this house and this family. You are not welcome here" I tell him to leave. He storms out and I sit there crying, I mean my dad practically disowned me, Right? What do I do now, how do I deal with this? I still spend the night, and the next morning I got to watch my brother trace a trail of jellybeans to his giant Easter basket. It made me so happy.
I was on the couch, snuggling with Jack, and my dad sits next to me. I get up and hide in Jack's room, where Jack follows me and asks, "what's wrong sissy? is daddy being mean? don't be sad." I just burst out crying holding my innocent, adorable brother tight. That night is clear, I can't forget it, ever... I mean it is kinda hard to forget the moment your family disgraces you, right...
