My depressing life...
I am just a girl. I have a normal life.
Except I don't.
My dad is an asshole that physically and mentally abuses me. He would hit me, snap me with a belt. And if that wasn't enough, he corners me in my room when I am emotionally weak, and abuses me. Telling me how worthless I am, How I am the reason his life is miserable, How I am the reason he broke up with my mother.
Halloween last year was amazing. I loved my steampunk costume idea, but I still had details i had to add. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, and it meant a lot to me that my dad had promised to help me with last minute things. Like a gold spray painted gun, a pair of cool homemade goggles. I couldn't wait to bond with him. And when i woke up early that morning to get started, I waited for him to be ready. And then i said "When can we start" He responded "I have more important things to do than help you with your stupid fucking costume." i stood there, stunned, by his rude response. It was even more infuriating when he spent the whole day on the couch playing golf. I cried by myself in my room, until i called my mom to pick me up and help with my costume. I cried and cried because i had always ignored the little things my dad did to show me he didn't care, but in reality, i just needed to acknowledge the fact that he doesn't love me and never will. After that I went into a deep state of depression and never fully got out. I still am scarred by the things my dad has done, but instead of feeling sorry for myself, I try to be their for others, no matter what. I would sacrifice everything for someone, stranger or not. I stay afloat only by other people's needs. The only reason I am here, and alive today, is because my mother has held me tight to this reality. And I can't bring myself to abandon her. I owe her my life, in many ways. I still cannot watch certain movies, eat certain foods, or do most things because of the negative memories I have with my father. This is one of the many examples of my fathers... I don't even know what to call it. Ignorance, selfishness, stupidity?
