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" Lets run through the Fields of Asphodel,
Or fly through Elysium,
Let's swim in the River Styx,
And maybe even pet little Cerebrus"
-Sydney Gotham's Weird Lyrics out of Nowhere
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"Is this some kind of sick joke? Because if it is, I swear I won't hesitate a minute to mace you," I say, my eyes narrowed.
Jared looks very uncomfortable. "I have no clue as to what 'mace' is but believe me, for I am telling you the truth. I do not know how to use that. What is that?"
I look at him, my face and voice practically dripping with sarcasm. "Well without over defining it, it is in fact a toilet. You know, the little thing that people go potty in?"
He doesn't seem to get it. I shake my head, clearly exasperated.
"Please? I do not think I can hold it much longer. I need to release and I would very much hate to spoil your floor," he says casting the floor beneath the tunic a very sympathetic glance.
My eyes open wide and rush him into the bathroom. I can't believe I'm doing this.
"Okay, I'll tell you only once, so you better pay attention. See here? That's the flush. After you've..erm.. released," I cringe at the word and continue, "Press this little magic button and walk away. Okay?"
He eyes the toilet like it's going to attack him and mutters something about today's technology being dangerous.
"Well?" I prompt.
His eyes snap to my face and he says, "Thank you! You may leave now."
I linger a little longer, eyeing the bathroom silently praying he doesn't ruin it and walk away.
I stand outside, though not directly outside the bathroom and wait for that call from inside warning me of the crisis I'm expecting.
All of a sudden, I hear the flush and a whoop of joy.
My eyes are narrowed to slits when Jared emerges out of the bathroom, looking as victorious as if he just won fought and won peace for humanity.
"All is well," he announces and I stand with my mouth open. But I recover quickly and say, "Great. Now follow me please?"
I guide him to my room where the shirt and pants are neatly pressed. I hand it to him and say, "Here. Wear this. It's what I have for now. We'll go shopping later, I promise."
He eyes the stack of clothes and says, "I've seen humans wear this type of atrocious looking clothes before. Do I really have to?"
"Unless you'd rather have everyone shipping you off to a mental facility."
His eyebrows crinkle in the centre. "I do not know what a 'facility' is, but I am very sure I don't want to be a part of it. Now, how do I wear this atrocious piece of clothing?"
I laugh at his face and push him towards the guest bedroom. "Nice one. It's actually very funny, really. Now go wear it and be out fast. I have work, you know."
I skip towards the kitchen and take out a bowl of cereal, I eye the rows of eggs and decide to be extra hospitable. So, shoving the cereal bowl away, I decide to make an omelette.
