Monologues Open Requests

ahs/coven/madison

I am a millennial. Generation why. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11 give or take. They call us the global generation. We are know for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it's because we're the first generation where every kids gets a trophy for just showing up. Others say it's because social media let's us post every time we fart or have a sandwich for the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world. An indifference to suffering. I know I did anything I could to not feel. Sex, drugs, booze. Take away the pain. Take away my mother. Take away my asshole father. And the press, and all the boys I loved who wouldn't love me back. Hell, I was gang raped. Two days later, I back in class like nothing happened. I mean that must hurt like hell right? Most people never get over stuff like that. And I was like, let's go for drama juice. I would give everything I have, or will ever have, just to feel pain again. To hurt. Thank God for minor league Fiona and her herb garden. One advantage of being kind of dead is that you don't have to sweat warning labels. There was this one brown liquid that I thought made my nipples tingle for a second, but I think is was psychosmotic cause I polished off the rest of it and didn't feel shit. I tried every eye of noute and wing of fly until I found something that made me not Marilyn Manson anymore. (Sigh) and that's the rub of all this isn't it? I can't feel shit. I can't feel anything. You think that pain is the worst feeling. It isn't. How could anything be worse than just a total silence inside of me. I used to not eat for days or eat like crazy and then stick my fingers down my throat. Now no matter how much I binge, I can't fill this hole inside me. I can't take it anymore. I think I'm going batshit. I need to do something.