counter culture// l.s || bdsm

prologue

He decided to be honest.

Weight: 146 lbs.
Virgin?: yes
Smoke?: no

How would you like to serve a Dom:
I would like to please my dominant in the best ways I can. I want to be loved but also love my soulmate, whether we are in the BDSM lifestyle or we are not.

Louis answered more questions about his kinks and hard limits, taking as much time as he felt was needed before finally turning in his papers.
•
Louis went home with Zayn and Liam, waiting for the email to arrive telling him who his dominant was. Because it wasn't very busy, the women at the front desk told Louis it would only take about 2 hours to find a match for him (if he had a match at all.)

He tried not to fidget next to Liam and Zayn and wouldn't dare glance at his phone hoping for a notification telling him who his dominant was and where they would meet him. He had come straight home and changed into nicer clothes, cleaned the house up a bit and gotten everything prepared for his dom. He didn't know if he'd have to move out but if he didn't, he wanted this home to be more than what was okay for his dominant.

Zayn was putting in Toy Story 2 (at Liam's request) when Louis' phone made a swooshing noise, signaling a new email in his inbox. The room immediately went silent. Both Zayn and Liam stared between him and his phone then back to him again.

"Well, check, love," Zayn urged. He was nervous for Louis. Louis was practically his own and although they never acted even close to the way Zayn acted with Liam, Zayn often had to play daddy when Louis was too small to take care of himself. He couldn't help but be dominant towards the smaller boy.

Louis nodded slowly and opened the email.

Hello Louis Tomlinson,

The Deeming Office would like to inform that your match is:

Not Applicable.

This means you are unmatchable. You may ask to have your papers left open for the next year for $750. You may pay a fee of $1,000 to redo your application process and potentially find a soulmate. This opportunity ends in the next year: January 4, 2017. After the year, your papers will be destroyed and any chance of finding a mate is gone.

We are sorry.

Louis immediately froze. He couldn't believe it. His first thought was what he had done wrong. He answered every question honestly and completely. He prepared and studied the best he could to make sure he knew what a dominant would be looking for.

Liam and Zayn's eyes were still trained on him until his head fell and eyes welled with tears.

"U-Um," Louis coughed, "I-I didn't get a ma-match. I think I need s-s-some ti-time." He got choked up on his words but continued: "I'll go to bed now. Have a good night."

Louis numbly and quickly raced up the stairs. When he got to his tidy room, the tears began to fall. He cried and cried on his bedroom floor, ignoring the songs from the Disney movies downstairs. He didn't blame Zayn and Liam for leaving him alone. It was what he needed.

He couldn't help but wonder if this was what he deserved for all the years of being so obsessive. He wondered if maybe the dominant destined for him was younger and hadn't signed up for deeming yet. It didn't matter, he didn't have the money to pay for another application.

He wondered if maybe it was his weight or height that ruined it for him.

After his feet and knees were numb, Louis stood, pulled back his covers and laid down. Instead of sliding to the right side, he stayed in the middle, kept his pillows where they belonged and fell asleep on his back, hoping this would shake the habit of having a dominant now that he knew he would be alone for good.
•
Louis woke up to Liam's smiling face and a plate full of food. He was grateful but too sore to sit up properly.

"Hey, Li. Would you mind helping me?" Louis was quiet and slow with his words. He shivered slightly due to not being used to only being wrapped in a thin blanket and not pillows.

"How do you feel, Lou?" Liam was chipper in the morning but today he didn't smile as wide and that made Louis feel guilty.

He faked a smile. "I'm great, Li. It's okay, you know, I was meant to be alone anyways! More pizza for me," Louis tried to reassure but his reoccurring tears gave him away.

Liam tsked and hugged the boy to his chest, careful not to knock the food off of the bed.

"Maybe your mate hasn't been to the Deeming Office yet. Maybe they're waiting until they're fully ready for you. You never know, you can always go back or ask that they keep your papers open just in case," Liam suggested. Louis nodded, not having the heart to tell him that he didn't have the money to do so unless you used every penny of his savings.

"Well, let's have a good day. I won't even be bad for Zayn so you won't have to see me get punished!"

Louis giggled at Liam's goal knowing it would never work but nodded anyways and began to eat.

When Louis finished eating, Zayn came to get his tray and dishes.

"Lou, if you need me to be your daddy for awhile, Liam and I talked about it; he's okay with that. I just don't want you to feel abandoned or get sad."

Louis thought about the offer. For a moment, it sounded like a good idea. He could use his money to go to the Deeming Office and fill out a sheet specifically with the things Zayn liked. Maybe that would ensure he could be with Liam and Zayn, legally. He would have to dip into his savings but it could work and at least he would have a daddy.

But wouldn't Liam get jealous? The two men already had so much experience with each other; Louis would be left out. He didn't want to be a second choice submissive; he wanted to feel needed. He wanted to help, not cause a burden.

But he could test again, with new and improved answers.

Louis shook his head. "No, thanks. I think I'm going to test again, instead."

Zayn raised his eyebrows. "Oh! Well hopefully you get matched this time around and if you need me, please let me know, okay, Lou?"

"Yes sir," Louis promised.

After Zayn took the dishes from Louis' room, he looked down at himself, staring at the pudge piling over his sleep shorts. He used to be so thin in high school. He played football for four years, making his legs toned but slowly, his fat began to pool in his stomach area.

He considered, for a split second, that maybe his soulmate would come if he could just lose a few pounds. Maybe the weight range was more important than he initially thought.