Beyond The Sheets [Ji Chang Wook]

Please Explain

I was startled by the question but I need to be cool about it
"Duhhh.. who didn't!!" I faked a laugh although it was obviously a lie.
He looked at me for a second and said "Really!! you look like the type who didn't..." he than looked at the clear sky as I asked him
"Why did you ask?"
He was quite for a while and said  "I was her first you know"
Her!!! who's her??! is he talking about that snake
"She was my first Kiss as I was to her, My first overnight stay... my first real relationship..." he said

I was shocked and irritated as the same time, why are we talking about her
"why are you telling me this?" I fiercely asked
"Just for you to understand that I can't cut ties with her easily, we've been through a lot... You knew before the wedding that this relationship is temporary" He said without even facing me.

I was so hurt, I thought by now he must hace some sort of feelings for me but I guess I was just fooling nyself, how I really hate myself now!! I felt that I wanted to cry I wanted to breathe I wanted to run and run and run but again I was stuck just looking at his face.
He looked at me with his helpless look " Don't take me in wrong way.. I mean I just.. what I am trying to say well ahh.... I am just a bit confused.. I want to...." I stopped him from talking
"You made up your mind anyway, so it doesn't matter if I agree or not" I stood up and gave him my back
"I will be walking to the stables, I just need time alone to think about myself... as I am my only first priority" I left without even waiting for an answer.

As I was walking tears started to fall, my thoughts were all over the place.
Why did I allow him to play me like this!? it's because I was too soft that I now want something that wasn't mine from the start.
I couldn't control my heart better.

Without realizing I was crying like a new born baby, walking by the hill into the woods where it was a shortcut that leads to the stables. I stepped into a small hole and fall down and hurt my knees.
I tried to get up but ended uo rolling down hill, I was in pain trying to gain my strength but was too tired too hurt to move.
"Please help" my voice was too low to be heard and no one was around.
I laid there for 15 seconds just trying to gather up myself.

I stood up by force and tried walking slowly up to the hil but I felt that I was almost falling till someone grabbed my hand
"Nayeon!! Are you okay? just hold on to me"
I was at my happiest moment at that time when I saw hyungsik helping me out.
he piggyback me
"Its okay I can walk" I said holding into his back
"Its Okay, I am happy that I could help.. just enjoy the moment now"
why is he so kind to me I wondered, but again wook words pierced my heart and I can't forget.

It took us almost 20 minutes to reach the stables, by that time all the guest left and only wook and his gang were there.
"Isn't that your wife Wook?" his friend pointed
Wook looked at me shocked if why I was piggybacked by Hyungsik.
Wook came straight to us but I was already down standing on my two feets
"What happened!! is that blood on your knee" Wook asked as he knelt down to check
I moved back "Why does it matter to you?" I said

I left the scene leaving him hanging there, I was too angry to even face him or her.
Back there Wook grabbed Hyungsik collar
"WHAT HAPPENED?!" he asked
He removed wooks hand by force and left him.

I was outside trying to get in touch with the driver to pick me up but Hyungsik came
"I will drop you home, its on my way anyhow..." I was hesitant to accept but I changed my mind once I saw Wook coming
" Sure, thank you"
and just like that we walked away.. At the car I didn't talk as well nor he asked me anything.

I reached home took a shower and sat on the Sofa, I should start writing by now
Wook interrupted me with his phone call " are you home?" he asked
"Yes, what do you want?" I asked
"Don't sleep till I come back" and he ended the conversation.

Why would I even wait and for what!!
I took out my diary and said it's the time to submit

The girl by the Window sat there waiting for him again
If he will pass this time she will wave at him
She saw his shadow and started to wave fast
He lifted his eyes and saw her standing and suddenly she had no pain
Will she open the Window this time she asked
But a different shadow appeared and brought a new pain
Did the girl by the window lose what she gain
Or will the second Shadow will leave,  and with him
she will only be again

I took a last look at what I wrote with tears in my eyes, I took a picture of it and sent it to Hyungsik
"Please post this in the blog tomorrow"
he texted back " Are you okay?"
Tears started to pour again, but I texted " Yes I am, don't worry"
and ended it with a smiley face.

Wook came back and as I was listening to music laying on the Sofa he removed my headphones and said
"Sit.. I want to see your wound"
I sat straight and looked at him
"no need, I am sleepy I will go to bed" as I stood up to walk he pulled me down
" I told you to sit.. just sit please" he said and then opened a new bandage, put some ointment on my cut and wrapped it with bandage.
"I am sorry if what I said was too harsh.... It doesn't mean that I don't care about you, but I need time to grasp everything... I am in a tough situation"

I couldn't speak, what should I say! in this situation you wish if you can just hide but I can't.

He doesn't also know that he was my first kiss and my first overnight sleep with a guy, he was my first.... but does it matter?

At that moment he rubbed his eyes with his hands not noticing the ointment that wa left on his fingers
"Auwchh my eyes"

I turned and saw him struggling and went to him
"open your eyes, let me blow into them"
and so I did, not realizing that I was too close to his face.
We started into each other for a while and I backed up but he managed to pull me back into his chest
"Can I kiss you?"