The journey to here

5

Addison's POV:

It felt like years before nine o'clock finally rolled around. Anxiously, I waited in the lobby by the main doors. I was nervous that Meredith wouldn't show up, and as I fidgeted with my fingers more and more, I only felt more and more anxious.

"You look like you just saw a ghost" Meredith said, coming up behind me. "Did you actually think I wouldn't show?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to make it seem like I really didn't care if she showed up or not. "I knew you would; you're desperate for any kind of affection" my words were cold, as we headed out to her car.

"No, I believe that's you" Meredith corrected me, as we got into the car and buckled our seat belts. I had a rental that I'd been using since I hadn't had the chance to buy a new car in Seattle; I wasn't planning on staying long when I first came here, but it was evident to me that I'd be here a while.

"Derek doesn't pay any attention to you, you're obviously attention starved" Meredith said, driving with a hand on the wheel and the other on my thigh. My skin burned where she touched it, in all the best ways "you're a codependent whore, and the idea of Derek with me was enough to make you absolutely despise me"

"Oh please. You're such a desperate slut that you had to seduce me to get any attention. Couldn't have Derek, so you went for the closest thing to him. And of course, the fact that I'm married must also turn you on" I tack on out of spite. It was somewhat comforting to know that nothing would change between us; we were still arguing and insulting one another as per usual.

"Says the woman who slept with her husbands best friend to get attention" Meredith snorted, pulling into the hotel parking lot "you know, Mark Sloan is a man whore and just because he fucked you doesn't make you special; it just means you have a vagina"

"Shut the fuck up and park the car" I say, exasperated "Jesus, this is why you can't keep a boyfriend. Or a father, for that matter"

She growls low in her throat, and violently parks the car. "Watch it, Addison. It'd be a shame if I lost my temper on you again"

"I really don't think it would be"

~

After we'd gotten up to my room, we'd somewhat calmed down. And by calmed down, I mean we weren't ready to strangle each other to death before we even got to talking.

"Alright" Meredith says, cutting straight to the chase "this is more of a dominate, submissive relationship. I have the need to feel power, you have the need to feel like someone else is in control. We both get mutual pleasure from it, agreed?"

I nod, but that isn't good enough for her.

"Use your words, baby girl"

"Yes"

She smiles, and I feel my chest swell with pride. "Okay, I have some ground rules, and if there's anything at all you'd like to add, feel free" Meredith says "no drinking; I don't want either of us to be drunk during our encounters. I need to make sure I have your fully sober consent before I do anything at all with or to you"

"Okay" I answer verbally, instead of just nodding.

"No swearing; I don't like ugly words coming out of your pretty little mouth. And also no back talking me while we're having sex or in a sexual encounter. I know I can't ask you to be civil all the time, so in work scenarios I can let it slide" she's serious, and I can't help but feel my stomach burn at all the ideas running through my head "do as I say; if I say don't come, you don't come. If I say don't move, you stay still. If I demand you be quiet, I don't want to hear a noise. Disobeying any of these rules will result in punishment"

"Yes, Meredith"

"Don't call me Meredith" she starts in on the next rule "Meredith or Dr. Grey at work is fine, but again in sexual scenarios or situations, you're to call me Mistress. Failure to do so will also result in punishment"

"Yes, Mistress" I say, trying out the new word. It rolls off the tongue nicely, and as ironic as it is to be calling her that, it fits and it feels sexy. She smirks, and I know she likes the way it sounds as well.

"As for punishments, I want to keep it light. Nothing too heavy, none of that choking shit" I'm relieved, because even though I'd tell her no anyway, it's nice to know she's on the same page as me "spanking, hands only, orgasm denial, and bound wrists are all punishments I am comfortable with, is that okay with you?" She asks, checking in with me.

"As long as my wrists are bound with something soft, everything sounds perfect" I answer honestly. Rope burn didn't sound like much fun, but having my hands out of my control for a short while did.

"Of course" she nods in agreement "and now that we've talked about punishments, I think we should mention rewards" the exciting part was coming, and I felt antsy just talking about it. "Praise, is obviously a big one. I won't hesitate to let you know if you're doing something right and I'll be quick to praise you for it. Orgasms are also a reward if you do exactly as you're told. And if you're really good, I'll let you touch me after you've come" I knew in most of these relationships, the dominant didn't allow constant touching from their submissive. This was, in my opinion, a good reward.

"And for a safety system" Meredith tells me, dead seriously "colours. Red, yellow, green. I'll ask your colour in compromising situations. Red means stop immediately, yellow means pause so we can talk about your concerns and I can adjust myself accordingly, and green means go. If I don't ask your colour, you can tell me what colour you are if you are uncomfortable. I don't want you to ever, ever, do anything at all that you are not comfortable with. If you don't like it, we aren't doing it, simple as that. I need you to trust me for this to work"

I was glad that she was taking this so seriously, and I was especially glad that she respected me enough (even if she wasn't overly fond of me in general) to not want to cause me any harm in any way.

"I promise that if I am uncomfortable or if I feel unsafe or if I don't agree with what you are doing, that I'll say red" I promise whole heartedly. I feel her let out a relieved breath.

"I want you to be prepared" she tells me "I am going to break you apart, only to put you back together again. You'll hate me more than anyone, but you'll want me even more. But this will be a pleasurable experience and as long as you follow the rules I have set, you will experience nothing bad" I knew for a fact I'd be breaking the rules; it was all part of the fun.

"I am prepared" I tell her "I am prepared for you to make me yours in every way possible, I am prepared to trust you will my vulnerabilities, and I am prepared to be broken down and built up, and I am prepared to hate you every step of the way"

She smirks, a slow, sly smile that's cunning and mischievous.

"Well, then let it begin"