Falling in love with #11

Chapter 25- Sunshine

"I need you. I'm at the hospital and I need you to come here," I was already panicking. Before we broke up she would have called me in a heartbeat, but now I was at the bottom of the list for emergency calls.

"I will be there as soon as I can. What's wrong Abbi? Is it serious?"I asked her as I started getting out of bed and pulling on my pants. I grabbed a shirt laying on the floor and started moving to the door.

She wasn't answering my questions so I told her I would be there soon.

The drive over was terrifying. I didn't know what I was walking into, but I told myself it couldn't be that terrible because she was able to call me herself. But what if she only had a couple hours to live and she wanted to tell me her goodbyes. Or what if it was Danny or Tom or Rob that was hurt and they just asked her to call everyone and I was just one of many on the list.

After I finally made it to the hospital and parked my mind was spinning. I walked numbly through the hospital until I made it to her room that she had texted me the number too. My heart dropped when I saw her in the bed. As horrible as it was I wanted to see anyThat he else but her in the bed, not my Abbi. I walked in and she looked haunted.

I walked close to her bed not touching her. I didn't know what kind of comfort she needed from me right now.

"Abbi, do you want to tell me what's wrong now?"I asked softly as I brushed the hair back ever so slightly from her forehead.

"I was pregnant Julian,"She told me her voice monotone. My heart lifted up when I heard her say the word pregnant, but then it plummeted when I heard her use the word was. Past tense. She was no longer pregnant.

"Abbi,"I trailed off. What did you say in a situation like this.

"I'm not 100% sure it was yours, but I have a feeling that it was our baby that I was carrying. It was our baby that I killed. I'm so sorry Julian,"tears welled up in her eyes and I fell to my knees beside her bed and pulled her into my arms. She sobbed in my chest and tears leaked out of my eyes and onto her hair.

"It's not your fault baby girl, it's not your fault,"I whispered into her hair as we grieved the loss of our child.

(1 day later)

Abbi and I walked to my apartment door in silence. The doctors said she needed someone with her for the first 3 days at least after the D&C procedure. She was devastated. I could tell that she was hurting and I had no idea how to help her.

"Abbi? Do you want to be in your old room or my room?"I asked her as I lead her towards the back of the apartment where the bedrooms were. I loved having her back at our apartment. I just wish it was under better circumstances.

"Can we go to my old room, but will you lay in there with me?" She asked and I nodded while we walked to her room.

"Of course,"I bit my tongue to keep me from calling her babe. I had been avoiding calling her babe or baby because I didn't want to bring up anything that unnecessarily brought up our baby.

I opened the door for her and we walked into her room. I hadn't changed a thing since she left. Her clothes were still all over the floor, or the ones she left and all of the stuff she didn't take with her from her bathroom was still on the vanity. I couldn't accept the fact that she was gone from my life so I just kept her door shut.

She climbed onto the bed and turned towards me. She held out her hand and I pulled off my shirt knowing that's what she wanted. She pulled off her own shirt but left her leggings on and I watched her as she slipped my shirt over her head.

I silently walked towards the bed and climbed on it laying next to her. She rolled over laying her head on my chest and I stroked her hair.

"What are you thinking about"I asked her letting her silky strands slip through my fingers.

"I don't know,"she mumbled burying her face into my chest.

I let a smile slip over my face,"Yes you do. Tell me you know I won't get mad."

"What would you have wanted to name the baby?"Her question knocked the wind out of me. Out of all the questions I had expected her to ask me that was not one of the ones that was floating through my head.

"I don't know Abs. Babies weren't really on my mind at the moment. I was focused on getting you back,"I told her honestly and she shifted her face so she could see me better.

"Did you want babies with me?"She asked me studying my face for a reaction.

"Sunshine, I do want babies with you. In the future once we are in a good place I want 5 or 6 kids with you,"I told her and she looked at me seriously and then started laughing. Her laugh was magical and immediately made a smile lift across my face.

"I hope you are having at least three of those kids and I haven't heard that nickname before,"she laughed and I saw my Abbi, the one who lit up my whole world. Not the broken Abbi, even though I love her no matter what.

"You are the light of my life. You are my sunshine. And I figured we could take a break from your other nicknames,"Tracing my fingers down her cheek just looked at how beautiful the girl in my arms is. Then I saw the cloud come back over her face and she shut back down.

"Julian I'm not going to be back to normal for a while. It's going to take a lot of healing. I lost our baby,"She shifted her eyes downward and I tilted her face back up shifting her so I was cradling her head in my hands. The doctor confirmed that she was 11 weeks along and that the baby was mine.

"I will wait for you if you need 10 years. I love you Abbi Belichick and I always will. You are my sunshine and the reason I get up in the morning. And you did not kill our baby I will remind you of that every single day of my life. I do not blame you and it was not your fault,"I kissed her forehead and laid her back down on the bed.

"Thank you Julian, you know I love you too. Can I sleep now?"she asked and I nodded letting her cuddle into my side.

Right before I fell asleep holding the love of my life I whispered in her hair,"Ryan is what I would have wanted to name the baby." 

AN/ Please comment and vote so I will be more motivated to stay up and write more for you all! 

Tell me your reactions to the beginning of the chapter when I tricked you all! 

Love you guys!