Landview: Juniors✔️ (Wattpad version)

Walk of shame, part 3

Not having had alcohol in a very long time, my tolerance was low, and with my third beer, it hammered me. From there, things got hazy. I remember Ryan carrying me to my bedroom. Then our clothes came off and finally him on top of me. After that, things went dark.

I woke up the next day and looked over to see a sleeping Ryan. Well, not asleep, Ryan but also a naked one. I lifted the covers to reveal my nakedness, oh god.

I sat up and looked around the bedroom. I needed to find my clothes and fast before Erik got here. I heard the door open and closed before I finished gathering my clothes. Shit.

I scurried off to the bathroom to fix myself as not to alert Erik to my walk ashamed as has happened two times in the past. I don't know why I was so worried about this. It's not like I'm with anyone or anything.

After checking myself to make sure I didn't look like a total wasteland, I came out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me. Act casual as if nothing happened, Alex, I reminded myself.

"Well, Jacob, it seems Mommy tied one on last night. Oh, yes, she did," Erik cooed in a baby voice.

"Sorry, it was a bad night," I said, getting some coffee.

"Why didn't you call me?" Erik asked.

"Oh, you know, I thought maybe a beer or six would help," I said, trying to hide the fact I wasn't alone with the drinking.

"Well, next time, call me," Erik said as he fed the baby.

I gave him a soft smile and said, "Okay."

"Ack, what have you been eating, kid? It looks like you don't need feeding but a diaper change, too. Come on, let's go change your shorts," Erik said, taking Jacob to his room.

Ryan peeked his head out of my bedroom, and I waved him to the door once the coast was clear. He ran out of there, and I closed the door.

Erik stuck his head out of Jacob's room, "Is someone here?"

"Uh, nope, I thought someone knocked but nope," I lied.

He shrugged and went back to what he was doing. Erik took Jacob out, so I could clean up. I called Grace.

"You did what?" Grace yelled.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing," I said, drying my hair as I came out of the bathroom.

"Well, duh! You know, you, Ryan, and alcohol don't mix. Not only do you lose your inhibitions, but your panties, too. Want to get laid by Alex, add alcohol and poof her panties magically disappear," Grace said, gesturing with her hands.

I gave her a look. "Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration?"

"Alex, that is how you lost your virginity, and you recently lost Jake," Grace reminded me.

"I know. Trust me, I know. I hate that I did it. All I wanted was something to help me forget for a few hours that Jake is never coming back. To feel a little comfort," I said as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

She sat down and grabbed my hand. "Oh, honey, I know, but this is not the way to do it. We all miss Jake."

I leaned my head on her shoulder and sniffled.

"So, how was he?" Grace asked.

I lifted my head and gave her a look before snickering. Leave it to Grace to make me laugh.

The next night I talked to Ryan. I didn't need any weirdness between us. After explaining everything, he seemed okay with what happened.

"So, are we good?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah," he responded.

"Ryan, I think that if we make more of this than what it was, it will get weird between us, and we're in a good spot," I reasoned.

"Yeah, you're right. Last night was a drunken, crazy night. It won't happen again. I should get going," he said.

"Sure," I said as he got up and I walked him to the door. He left, and I closed the door. Whew, crisis averted.

I needed to get my act together. I can't be having meaningless drunken sex with one of my best friends when I have a baby in the home. I don't even know what I was thinking. I mean, who does that? That would have never happened if Jake was here.

God, I miss him. He always made things better. I lay there in bed the other night thinking about him. My heart ached for him. I was such a mess. I didn't know how I was keeping it together.

I heard a knock at the door. Now what? Can't I wallow in my self-deprecating self-pity for one night? I begrudgingly got out of bed.

I answered the door to find Ryan standing there. Before I said anything, his lips were on mine. Well, you can say we weren't drunk this time.

I lay there in bed with the sheet over me and looked at him, and he looked at me, then we looked at the ceiling. What did we do?

"Are you sure you weren't drunk again," Grace asked me as she stopped and looked at me while I sat on the side of the bed.

"Um, no, I was in bed, sober," I said to her.

"You didn't take any medication that would cause you to lose your flipping mind?" Grace exclaimed.

"I barely take ibuprofen, let alone any hard drugs," I said to her with a look.

"I thought you talked to him?" Grace questioned me.

"I did," I exclaimed, standing up. "Ryan didn't listen. Grace, what am I going to do?" I whined, throwing myself onto my bed, face-first into a pillow.

"The question is, how do you feel about him?" Grace asked.

I looked at her. "That's the thing I don't know. I thought maybe I was falling for Ryan, but honestly, I'm not even sure."

She stood up. "Okay, then maybe talk to Ryan again. See what he thinks. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?"

Ryan and I talked all right with his tongue down my throat. We fell onto our backs, breathing hard.

"Good talk," he breathed.

"Yeah," I breathed back.

That may be a problem.

Every time I tried to talk to him, it ended up with us naked in bed. I had no clue what was going on with the two of us. I knew at some point; it needed to stop.

I hated myself every time it happened. One, because it was too soon, and second, I was still grieving Jake.