"Now how da hail did you get up there Burt? And why the hail would you make me buy you this damn toy if you aren't gonna play wif it? "
All he did was stare at me with his bitter eyes until I blinked. That mother fucker always wins.
"Now burt, it ain't fair. You know damn well I got the sensitive eyes. Just a dash of wind and it looks like I been crying . Now get your ball sack here becuase I ain't gonna be saving you all the damn time boy."
With this he swiftly came down from the Christmas tree onto my lap.
"You just like to mess with me don't cha burt. You're always such a silly goose ."
Freely my hands begin to pet his hairless skin so he could be at ease .
"You really do look like a nut sack burt. You might wanna get that check . "
He didn't take this comment kindly so he jumped off of me and wondered off.
"I didn't mean to offend you Burt!"
I wait until I get a response .
"Burt?"
I yell once more for confirmation .
"Bertholumule Jr. The 7th! Get your tail here so we can get through this. "
Ugh. It was no use. I pouted and took a nap becuase you can't feel pain when you're asleep. You can't force others to try to solve issues between the two of you if they aren't willing to try.
