A Bit of Fun

Chapter 1

It had been a good day, thought the Joker, leaning back contentedly in the car and trying to catch his breath after one of his admittedly not unusual laughing fits. A plan he had been working on for months had finally come to fruition, a plan that he had invested a lot of energy and effort into, and it was always rewarding to see hard work like that pay off. On top of which, he was now once again a free man. Sure, he had some minor injuries from his latest Bat beating, but what did that matter in the grand scheme of things? Wounds healed – they wouldn't stop him from reveling in that feeling of victory as he glanced over at the girl who had sprung him from Arkham Asylum, the former Dr. Harleen Quinzel.

She had blown out his cell door, introducing herself as his "new and improved Harley Quinn," and calling him "puddin'" in the process. Which had been dreadfully annoying, and the only drawback in an otherwise perfect escape – she had used gag items to cause serious injury, one of Joker's favorite things to do to unsuspecting citizens. She was emulating that whole clown thing really well. And that harlequin getup wasn't too shabby either. She was a masterpiece, thought Joker, smugly – a testament to his persuasiveness and charm. The girl had thrown her life away as a successful doctor just to help him break outta the nuthouse. It was a great joke, just like he had planned. The perfect gag, and a whole lotta fun.

Harley glanced at him, grinning. "So...where to, puddin'?" she asked.

"Yeah, don't call me that again," said Joker, his smile falling slightly in annoyance. "I ain't really the type for pet names."

Harley shrugged. "You're the boss," she said.

"Yes, I am," agreed Joker, beaming again. He had been in control of everything – pulling the strings so the shrink would pity him, and then when that pity had gradually grown into something deeper, making his move. Telling the girl that she was the only one who could possibly understand him, the only one he trusted with his secrets, and the dumb blonde had been so gullible that she had swallowed every word, hook, line, and sinker. She lapped up his sob stories, cooed over his lies, and finally, when the moment was right, had surrendered herself completely to him. The Joker didn't think of himself as a Don Juan type – romantic seduction wasn't his usual, go to method. But it had been too perfect to resist with Harley. The poor little thing had never been in love before, didn't seem to have any friends or relationships – she confided her deepest wishes to him, her deepest hopes and dreams of true love, and it had been simplicity itself to take advantage of those, to make her believe that she was special to him, the only woman who could ever save or redeem him. She had wanted to believe that, and so she had. It hadn't even been particularly difficult to seduce her, she had been so utterly naïve. She had wanted to see the best in him, even if that best didn't actually exist. And so when the time came for her to fall, she fell hard.

Truly one of the greatest jokes of his career, thought Joker, looking at her. But that's all she was – a joke. A bit of fun, that he had used to escape from Arkham. And now...now he was interested in seeing her next move. Maybe the joke wasn't over yet, and he could play with her some more. When the Joker grew tired of his toys, he broke them, but he wasn't tired of Harley Quinn just yet.

"The hideout's just up here," he said, pointing. "Left and then a right. The boys should roll out the welcome wagon."

Harley's face fell slightly. "Oh. The henchmen stay in the hideout too? I kinda thought...it'd just be us."

"Nope," said Joker. "Not a huge amount of privacy in the hideout."

"Oh," repeated Harley, her face falling again. "That's a shame. Because I kinda wanted to celebrate our escape properly...y'know," she said, grinning at him.