Broken Marilyns

JOHN DOE

JOHN DOE

I was forced to take leave from work to “rest.”  I didn’t want to rest, I wanted to fight.

All the mandatory training videos I’d watched about sexual harassment and assault in the workplace – I never thought it would happen to me.  I didn’t know how to pull myself out of this.  Embarrassment, guilt, fear, and pain all tore at me, threatening to drag me under. 

It had been a week already and no one was able to find Simon.  His apartment had been abandoned and the emergency contacts he’d listed were made up because the numbers either didn’t work, or were people who didn’t know Simon.  His name may as well be John Doe.

 *          *          *          *

Whispers and eyes full of pity greeted me when I returned to the office - forcing me back into a hell I was trying to claw my way out of.  Flowers covered my desk and they used to be pretty, but now they were just helpless little things doomed to wither.

I saw Simon everywhere: by the cooler, peeking at me above the cubicles, creeping behind me.  Before I had time to rationalize, my hand was on Mr. Newman’s door handle.  “I can’t do the Geez Louise column anymore,” I blurted out, half-certain the words had come from my mouth.  I had been so easily controlled and I never wanted to feel that way again.  From now on, I decided what happened in my life. 

 “Give me something else or I’m out.”  Mr. Newman rubbed his forehead while looking up at me.  Of all the things his eyes could hold, pity was not one of them and for that I was thankful.

“Jenna, you know I wanna help.  You’re a good writer but there aren’t any positions open.  I don’t wanna lose you.  Please, stay on the Geez Louise gig for now but start working on a story.  I’ll look it over and pass it on if I like it.  I gotta have proof that you’re good enough before I put my neck out on the line asking my bosses to open up another spot.  Can you do that?”  I sunk.  It wasn’t what I wanted to hear at all, but I knew he had a point.

 If writing a story the big-wigs couldn’t ignore was what I had to do, I was going to make it happen.

 “What was that about?” Maddie b-lined it to me after catching me walk out of Mr. Newman’s office.

“I can’t be ‘Geez Louise’ girl anymore, it’s sucking the life out of me,” my voice quivered as tears threatened to break out.  “Mr. Newman can’t do anything, there aren’t any other positions.  He said to work on a story he can show the uppers.  What am I gonna write about?  Nothing happens in this shithole of a town.”

“Let’s go,” Maddie grabbed my arm.

“Where?  We still have thirty minutes ‘til we’re off.”

“I don’t give a damn,” Maddie yanked me out of the office.

Sitting in front of Duncan’s Pawn a little past the edge of town, Maddie stared at me as if she’d just shown me the Holy Grail.

“What are we doing here?” I blinked.

“We’re gonna get you that story,” Maddie took her keys out of the ignition and hopped out of the car, motioning me to get out.  “Some of my best stories have come from listening to crappy old police scanners.”

The man at the check-out looked at Maddie and me like we were crazy and I agreed, but Maddie’s eyes sparkled at the hunk of junk she sat at the register.