But lately, it had been happening so much more and I didn't mind. I thought about his lips, and his hands, and his cute little freckles, the ones that covered his face like paint splatters.
I thought about that little white skirt and his knee high socks and the choker he ordered online that said "kitten" as a joke but I secretly loved so much.
I passed the pizza place while I was caught up in my thoughts. I literally had to be tapped multiple times for me to break away from my thoughts.
"Uh, dude, you passed the pizza place," Noah laughed, his eyes crinkling and his lips turning upwards.
I felt dazed for some reason, but I laughed it off. "God, I'm turning into such a romantic. I was thinking about my boyfriend."
I expected Noah's face to drop like it had when I mentioned Jack in the past, but his smile didn't falter. Instead, he grabbed my hand and led me in the opposite direction to the restaurant.
It was empty, which was unusual for a Saturday afternoon. Noah led me to an empty table in the corner. "So, uh, where's everyone else?"
He looked up, shrugging. "They all cancelled."
Finn, this is shady. I think you should leave.
I stayed.
I wanted to text Jack with all being, but my phone was on 15% and I wasn't risking it.
I shifted uncomfortably, something about Noah today just put me off. He seemed...sly, almost. Not like his usual self.
"Hey, Noah? You okay?"
He looked up at me, a blush covering his cheeks. "Um, yeah, I'm, uh, fine, why do you ask?"
That was the Noah I had known the first day we met, but I could hear an underlying tone that just didn't seem real to me, like he was trying too hard.
I settled down once the pizza got there, letting myself enjoy his company.
He told me embarrassing stories while I told him funny ones.
They all revolved around Jack.
Does this count as obsession?
I looked out the window at one point, noticing that the sun was setting. "Woah! We've been here for like three hours! I should head home," I stood up, throwing away my trash.
His face fell for the first time that day. "Uh, okay."
"You good?" I furrowed my eyebrows, putting my hand on his shoulder to make sure he was okay.
Wrong move, Finn.
He leaned in fast, like a cheetah moving in on its prey. His lips tasted like mint and sadness and absolute regret.
He put his arms around my shoulders, and he was short, and it felt all too familiar.
It felt too much like Jack.
So I made the mistake of kissing back, putting my hands on his waist and pulling him halfway closer to me before I realized this was all wrong.
He's not Jack, he'll never be Jack.
Just like how you'll never be a good boyfriend.
See, in the movies, if someone kisses someone who's taken they push them away, right?
Movies aren't real life.
I actually held him, I actually kissed him like he was a person that I could allow myself to kiss.
➳chapter fifteen➳
Começar do início
