Eunoia

The Loch Raven Conference

[begin recording]

(audible rustling noises, buttons clicking)

KCL: Sound test, sound test. Microphone check.

KCL: Time, 2:43 a.m. This is Kadmiel Christ Leggett. I am twelve years old, and I've been instructed to meet with a subject at Loch Raven Reservoir's entrance at 3 a.m. The note I found was lying on the street. It showed rough handwriting on a nearly pristine napkin. Reading the note verbatim, it says, "Please come alone to talk, Loch raven rez, 3 a.m. on 8/30/17". I came to investigate, because I think it might be what I've been waiting for. I think I'm gonna meet and interview a real live alien. I've been researching for years and it can't be a coincidence that I found this note in the street. I think they've finally singled me out for contact because I know as much about them as they do about us. I biked up here alone, as the note suggested. And I'm going to wait here and look at the stars to try to guess where they came from until they arrive. Cutting the tape for now, until someone shows up.

KCL: (panting, moderate wind rustling trees) Oh my fucking goodness, this thing just came out of the trees and scared me to death. I'm trying to catch my breath while at the same time recording. The wind is blowing, which is causing a lot of noise around me, so hopefully, this being cannot hear everything I'm saying, including my admission of fear. I don't think it's a Reptilian...but it doesn't look like a Gray either. I'm putting my hand up to signal to it now. I'm going to take a step toward it. It's moving toward me slowly, out into the moonlight. It's about 15 feet away from me now. The subject presents as a tripedal humanoid with—...wait. I'm not sure I can call this thing humanoid. It stands with two limbs, but walks with three, and the third is interchangeable, either of two limbs higher up on its body. What would have been the hands look like large orbs of flesh, and what would be feet are two long, floppy paddles. The epidermis is difficult to make out in the moonlight, but it appears to be rough, bumpy, full of boils, maybe even charred. Possibly charred from improper entry to our atmosphere. Speaking of which, I don't see a ship anywhere, and I imagine someone would have seen one land or even crash recently, so this thing must have been here for a while.

KCL: (whispering loudly) We are face to...what I think is its face now. I...am...terrified. It's looking me over, I think. Okay wait...it just slumped over forward, like it's wilting or something. I don't know what this means. I'm putting my hand up again to show that I mean it no harm. It's looking up. It's raising its...um..."hand". (heavy, relieved breathing) Aahh...I was so scared. Whew. Um...English? Do you, do you speak English? Like me?

Y: (deep, dreadfully scratchy voice) Yes.

KCL: What is your name? Your name, like, my name is Kadmiel. What is your name?

Y: ...Y.

KCL: Because I want to address you properly. What is your name?

Y: ...Y.

KCL: Because that is custom here in America. I'm Kadmiel. Can I please have your name?

Y: ...Y.

KCL: Please. I just want to interview you. I don't mean you any harm. Look...I'm not carrying a weapon.

Y: ...Y.

KCL: Because I don't want to hurt you. I just want to talk. What is your name?

Y: ...Y.

KCL: Are you kidding m—...wait. Are you saying "Y"; your name is Y?

Y: Yes.

KCL: (sighs, frustrated) Okay. Y...are you male or female?