Crown Me

6.

This wasn't my life. It couldn't be.

Part of me didn't want it to be.

A familiar mix of dread and elation churned in my stomach. In three days I would marry the women I loved. It was more than I'd ever dreamed. What was difficult to swallow, was that in three days I would officially be granted a title or so the tabloids claimed and then promptly given the keys to Clarence House, the personal residence of the Princess of Wales. Jade was the Princess of Wales. How exactly was I supposed to absorb that?

"Lauren?" I called to the front seat.

Two alert eyes found mine in the rear view mirror. "Perrie are you okay?"

"Do they give public tours of Clarence House?"

"If they can charge for admission, they'll give a tour of it," She said with a laugh.

"Great," I grumbled, "I'm going to be living in a museum."

"It could be worse," She said and though I couldn't see it, I knew she was smiling.

"How?" I challenged Lauren, a grin tugging at my own lips.

"You could still be living with your parents."

I shook my head in mock horror. Maybe Lauren wasn't so formal after all. Maybe I just had a bad habit of being too quick to make assumptions about people. The world wasn't nearly as worked up about my wedding as I was. Maybe none of this was that big of a deal. I'd almost managed to convince myself I was right when Lauren turned the corner near my old flat. I'd almost managed to believe that my life might not be changing as drastically as I fear. Yeah, almost. And then I saw the pile of signs and flowers and other things piled near the building's main entrance.

Not only was my entire life about to change, it had infected my past as well. Perrie Edwards only existed in the context of Princess Jade and even as I clung to who I was, I felt pieces of myself slipping away. Everything about my life past and present was an open book. I was to be read and studied and analysed. It was overwhelming and one thing was certain, I needed a night out even more than my sister.

-----------------------

Jane opened her door with a large glass of red wine in hand and held it out but I waved it away. Between the ride to my old flat and tomorrow's schedule, my stomach was churning. The last thing I felt like was a drink.

"No thanks." I groaned and slumped at her kitchen table, instantly feeling at home in the cozy apartment. She'd updated the space to complement the pre war architecture and then filled it with trinkets and pieces from her travels. The strange mix of elegant and eccentric was as warm as Jane herself.

"I think I'm going to throw up. Did you know you can buy a Perrie doll with interchangeable fashion items?"

"I won't tell you the Perrie paraphernalia I saw the other day. It would make you blush," she said conspiratorially, pouring the wine she'd offered me into her own glass.

"Not likely," I promised her.

"It made me blush," she said pointedly.

Okay, I had to admit that was a first. It was impossible to imagine ruffling Jane. She'd been game for all of Jesy's plans.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I asked in a soft voice.

Jane settled into the chair across from mine and took my hand. Her eyes that usually sparkled with mischief grew serious. "Do you love her?"

I nodded, a lump forming in my throat as I considered how much. "I can't imagine my future without her."

I smiled and giggled to myself. "She's my omniverse."