Finding Beauty

Chapter 45

"You ready?" Gale asks looking over at me while unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Absolutely!" I reply. We unload the trunk and head towards the sand. Together, we lay a blanket on the ground and place the umbrella on top of it creating a cute little set up.

Once we're done, Gale takes a seat and pats the space next to him. I join, reflecting his sitting position, my legs stretched out in front of me while I lean on my arms.

"I don't even remember the last time I came to the beach," he says staring out at the water. "It's been so long." He then smiles like he's recalling a funny memory.

"What?" I ask wanting to be in on the joke.

"Well, this one time when I came to the beach..." he launches into a story about how his family accidentally ended up on a nude beach and didn't realize it until an old man strolled by showing off his body. Though, I'm hardly paying attention. He leans in while talking to me and I'm fully aware of how close we are, are noses just inches apart. My eyes fall on his lips. They're pink and appear soft, a human trait I haven't noticed before. Are they soft? He's so close. I would be able to find out by just...

Woah.

I jump back a little too harshly and he notices. Hurt flashes in his eyes but still he continues the story. Again, I can't seem to focus. Did I almost kiss him? Did I want to kiss him?

I mean it's perfectly normal to care for him. Maybe even to love him. I've spent so much time with him and I've gotten to know him so well. I know all his flaws, his insecurities, his ghosts. I know he's a kind man at heart that's slowly but surely healing. He knows me and I know him. And we fit together so well. We balance eachother out. He's my best friend. I do love him.

But am I in love with him?

The thought startles me. That would complicate everything, wouldn't it? Because then I'll be trapped all over again. He's a beast. He can't go out into the world looking like he does. I won't be able to go to the movies with him or take him to Coney Island. I won't be able to travel the world or go to college because then we'll be living in two different worlds.

Why, witch lady? Why can't you just reverse the curse?

So, I decide I won't. I won't let myself be in love with him.

"Let's play in the water!" I shout randomly. Sitting here for another moment will only make things worse.

I take off the cover up revealing my neon yellow bathing suit. It's a backless one piece and has a bow around my waistline, joining the fabric together. Carina had got it for me. I don't know where she got it from. But that's Carina for you, making things appear like a wizard.

I instinctively grab his hand and we charge into the water. We splash around for what feels like hours just enjoying each other's company. Just being friends.

We come out of the water, Gale's blue trunks dripping with water. He throws a towel at me that already smells like the salty water and flashes a smile displaying his fangs. I hardly notice them anymore. I think Gale hardly does either. He seems comfortable in his skin now.

I turn on the small, almost vintage looking radio as we eat the picnic Gale packed. I'm surprised at the amount of thought put into it. The foods all being my favorite. As I munch on a sandwich, I carefully take in Gale. He's been weird today. Every time we're having a fun moment he smiles and then right after his face darkens. I asked about it a couple of times but he just shrugged it off. What was going on with him?

Now, Gale looks at me again with another look in his eye. It's a familiar look. The look my dad use to give my mother.

No. I quickly look away feeling frustrated.

I can't. He can't.

I try to focus on the music playing on the radio, trying to empty my mind of all things love related. This isn't rational. In fact, it's the opposite! It's...it's irrational!

The pop song switches to a slow song and Gale's head perks up. "I love this song," he states putting his cookie down. He stands up and brushes off his shorts, then extends his hand to me.

"Wh-what?" Gosh. When did I get so tongue tied?

"Dance with me?" he softly asks. His blue eyes match the water in the sunlight.

I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. Friends don't slow dance together. But I want to. So I place my hand in his and let him lead me out into the clear sandy space.

He places his hands around my waist and looks up at me, checking to see if this is okay. I give a shaky smile and slowly rest my arms on his neck. After a moment of swaying, I'm able to focus on the words of the song.

I'm not tryna start a fire with this flame

But I'm worried that your heart might feel the same

And I have to be honest with you baby

Tell me if I'm wrong, and this is crazy

But I got you this rose and I need to know

Will you let it die or let it grow?

I stare at my sand covered feet.

Could the song relate more to the situation? Is the universe taunting me? Pushing me to fall for someone I can't keep? A hopeless love?

I look back up and find myself captured in Gale's steady gaze. I realize he feels the same way too and this would be perfect if not for the circumstances. Again, his features darken and his eyes land on something behind me. Maybe he knows what I know. That this could never work. To comfort him- or maybe to comfort myself- I lay my head on his shoulder as the rest of the song plays.

You can tell me to stop if you already know

Though I'm not sure my heart can take it

But the look on your face says don't let me go

A few hours later, I'm lying on my stomach watching the sunset with Gale. I don't know if it was spending the day in the sun or the emotional crisis going on inside me but I feel exhausted and have to fight to stay awake.

The sun is a canvas painted with shades of red, orange, and yellow. The sun is half set, a bright yellow semicircle sitting on the horizon line.

"Belle?"

"Yea?" I place my head on my arms. My eyelids feel heavy.

"What do you want to do in the world?" I know what he means without having to look at him or ask.

"Well, I want to write a book. I've always wanted to do that," I say thinking about the notebook back in Brooklyn filled with a pieces of story ideas I jotted down. "I also want to travel the world. See things. Like the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Canyon, the Amazon. My dad went to all those places."

"That would be a big adventure," he says while watching the sun.

"Yea..." I mumble. My eyes are closed now and I can feel my breathing become soft and even. My head rest in the makeshift pillow my arms have created. Moments pass and it feels like I'm at the edge of sleep when I feel Gale kiss my forehead. It's soft and slow. His hand lingers on my cheek.

"I wish I could be there for all of that," he whispers to himself. "But I..." I hear his voice shift and I know he's holding back tears. He doesn't continue.

I want to open my eyes and ask him what he means and why he's about to cry but sleep drags me away before I can.

Author's Note- Hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did vote and comment! Thanks for reading!