We're Just Friends (Frank Iero)

13.

Spontaneous road trips alone aren't exactly the most exciting thing in the world. After the adrenalin wears off a couple of hours in, you realize how you're totally bored and have endless hours of plain, boring road to travel across. However, once you're about an hour away from your destination, that adrenalin kicks back in and all of a sudden it feels like the most exciting thing in the world. 11 and a half hours into my drive to Chicago, I was completely buzzing at the idea of seeing Poppy again. I couldn't stop thinking about what our reunion was going to be like; how I was going to hold her, how she was going to smell sweet like she always did, the way I was going to grab her and kiss her with so much force that it might suffocate the both of us, but hey, at least then I'd die happy, right?

I was set to arrive at Poppy's house at 3.30 in the morning. I hadn't told her that I was coming, and I hadn't told her parents either. I had planned it in my head that I would climb up to her bedroom window, just like I used to do when she lived opposite me. In my head this was a romantic plan, but in reality it would probably scare the living shit out of her, if I didn't get arrested by an onlooking neighbor who thought I was a burglar. As I daydreamed about the best way to reunite with her, I realized that another half hour had passed and the sat nav in my car was blinking at me to tell me that I was on Poppy's street. It dawned on me, all of a sudden, as if a pile of heavy bricks had just fallen on top of me, that I was moments away from the girl I had been in love with for the past ten years.

Ten years.

I pulled up at the edge of the street because I didn't want to wake anyone with the sound of my car. I knew which house belonged to Poppy based on the fact that I had her address written down, but I didn't know what room was hers. To my despair I was met with an incredibly high fence surrounding her garden, but I used what Ray would call "a pathetic attempt at parkour" to hoist myself quietly over the fence and into the garden. I quietly tiptoed around the back of the house and looked up. I could see three windows; one was a bathroom as the window was blurred, one was in darkness and the other was dimly lit. I could see the lamp and recognised it instantly as Poppy's lamp. I looked around for a drainpipe that I could climb, and luckily found one leading right up to her window. I began to climb, accidentally knocking a plant pot over and praying that it didn't wake anybody. After staying still for a few moments to make sure nobody came out, I began to climb again. I realized that since I had stopped climbing Poppy's drainpipe every day, my physical fitness had gone into decline. My arms ached as I pulled myself up but I eventually found myself clinging onto her windowsill, which was NOT wide enough for me to sit on. I took a few deep breaths and quickly pulled myself up, resting my elbows on the windowsill and quickly knocking, praying that she would let me in quickly.

I saw her in that moment, curled up on her bed, deeply engrossed in a book. Her thick, bright red hair was longer than I had ever seen it, falling almost to her waist. She turned around and instantly the book fell from her hands to the floor. She ran over, pulling open the window and dragging me through. I fell onto her bed and stared at her.

"Frankie!" she exclaimed in a hushed but shocked tone. "Frankie!"

"Poppy," I smiled, standing up and attempting to take her into my arms and kiss her like I had been imagining for the past twelve hours of my car journey. To my surprise, she held up her arms in a way that stopped my body colliding with hers and pulled her face away as I tried to put my lips against hers. At that moment, someone walked into her bedroom.

"Hey babe, do you mind if I eat this veggie burger of yours in the fridg-"

A strange man walked into the room, his eyes fixated on the veggie burger in his hand, but he stopped his words as soon as he looked up and saw me attempting to kiss Poppy.

"Who the fuck is this?" he said, dropping the food and storming close to us.

"Who the fuck are you?" I said, my heart racing, my ears ringing at the strong Chicago accent, my eyes burning at the expression on Poppy's face when I had tried to kiss her.

"Well, I'm Ryan, and I'm Poppy's boyfriend," he said. "And you are a strange, East Coast sounding emo kid who has magically appeared in my girlfriend's bedroom? What the fuck, man?"

"Ryan don't talk that way," Poppy said in an overly fast pace. "This is my friend Frankie, Frankie this is Ryan."

"Friend?" I said, turning to face her and ignoring the attempted 'threatening' looks that this guy was giving me. "I'm your friend?"

"Frankie, I-"

"You told me that we had never "just been friends"!" I shouted. "You said you'd always loved me! That I'm the only one, that you wouldn't REPLACE me!"

"Frankie listen to me, let me explain," she said, looking terrified. I hated seeing her look so afraid but my emotions were so heightened, they were completely out of my control. I wanted to calm down but I had no idea how. Every single thing that Poppy had ever said to me was racing through my mind, as I tried to work out why she would have moved on, especially so quickly, and with such a sleazy looking guy. I wanted to hit him, mainly because he had just insulted me, but I knew that it wasn't his fault, and I tried to be rational...but it was almost impossible.

"How can you possibly explain..." I said, through gritted teeth. "I'm just 'your friend Frankie', you just said it yourself."

"Frankie I moved to Texas!" she hissed, as if the fact that she had moved had meant that we had ended indefinitely, as if it were common knowledge that we both had shared.

"What about going to the same college, when we're 18?" I said, sadness ringing throughout my voice. "Did you just try to fucking humour me because you felt sorry for me?"

"No, Frankie, I meant everything I said," she pleaded, trying to take my hand, but I pulled it back.

"No, you didn't," I replied. "You meant none of it. I was a fool to think that we were anything more than just friends."