Hands All Over

Ch. 93 The Morning After

Juice stood holding his baby girl as he watched Angela move around the kitchen while making breakfast. She hadn't noticed him yet, so he looked his fill, enjoying the sight of her wearing nothing but a pair of his boxers and a camisole. There was something off about her, he noticed. Music was playing softly in the background, but she wasn't dancing around and singing like she usually did. She was somber now, pensive. He had a feeling it had to do with what had happened the night before.

He knew how she felt. He hadn't been able to sleep at all. Had stayed up most of the night, tracing the tattoo on her back as he stared up at the ceiling. He knew he'd woken her up a few times when he'd gotten out of bed to check on Evie. She'd gotten frustrated with him after the tenth time and told him to just bring her into bed because he was driving her crazy. Juice listened to her. Once his girls were both close and safe beside him, he found it a little easier to fall asleep. He woke up that morning with Evie still on his chest, but Angela was already up and making breakfast.

He hitched Evie up higher on his bare chest, his heart aching with love as she snuggled in closer to him. He put his lips to her head, breathing in deeply and enjoying the comforting smell of her baby shampoo.

He put Evie down in her little rocker before moving closer to Angela. Leaning against the counter, he studied her face, noticing the bags under her eyes. He could've sworn she'd slept just fine. Apparently, she was a lot better at pretending to sleep than he'd thought. "You okay, Angel?" he asked, brushing a stray hair from her face.

Angela's dark eyes met his as she sighed and nodded. "Yeah," she said, trying for a smile. She nodded towards the bottle warmer they had set up on the counter. "Wanna give her that bottle?"

Juice furrowed his brows in confusion. She only gave Evie a bottle when she was working and needed someone else to feed her. It was out of the ordinary now. Something was wrong. "You're not gonna..." he trailed off, gesturing to her chest.

"I'm exhausted," she lied, sighing again. The truth was she'd tried earlier that morning when he'd been asleep and had barely produced enough milk for Evie. She'd had to get some out of the bottles she had stocked in the fridge. They were running low on those too. Chloe had been on her for weeks about stress and breastfeeding. She'd thought it was all bullshit despite the way she'd noticed the decrease in the amount she was making. If she didn't start producing milk soon, she was going to have to switch to formula. She kept all of this from Juice though, he was on edge as it was. If he knew the stress his club was causing her was also affecting Evie, he'd try pushing them away even harder than he had before. "Thought you might want to feed her."

He didn't buy her lie for a minute; Angela loved breastfeeding, said it brought her and Evie closer. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just don't feel like being a cow today," she said, trying for a joke.

He frowned at her, seeing her joke for what it was; a way to cover what was really going on. "Bull shit," he said, his hand trailing up and down her arm "What's going on, Angel?"

"I couldn't...I don't have enough to feed her," she admitted, hanging her head. "I tried late last night, and she got...fussy so I had to get some out of the fridge. Tried to pump this morning and got barely enough to fill half a bottle."

Juice ran a hand over his hair, his eyes wide. "Jesus Christ, baby. Why can't you..."

"Chloe says its...a mixture of things. Might be my caffeine intake. I tend to drink more coffee while in lockdown," she explained on a shrug.

"Or it could be stress, right? 'cause of the explosion and shit?"

Angela took in a deep breath as she shrugged again. "Who knows? She'll get fed regardless. Might just have to switch her to formula for a little. Chlo said that's fine. She's old enough now."