Hands All Over

Ch. 46 Helpless

Trigger warning: Talk of suicide and suicidal ideation. If you are feeling suicidal please call 1-800-273-8255 and talk to someone who can help you through it. 💙

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Angela woke up with a start when Juice practically shouted her name. He was tossing and turning in the bed, a thin sheen of sweat covering his bare torso. "Juice!" she shouted, sitting up next to him. She knew better than to touch him. Once when Kozik was having a nightmare on her couch back in Tacoma, she'd shaken him awake and had almost gotten a fist to the face. "Wake up, baby!"

Juice came to with a jolt, sitting straight up, eyes wild as they took in his surroundings. His chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing. He could still see the images from his nightmare vividly in his mind. An unknown club member had stood at the edge of the land where Charming Heights was just starting to be constructed, his back to him while Angela stood next to the unknown brother. Juice had been facing them, his arms held back by a force he couldn't see. Between him and the two things he loved most was a dark figure with a silver gun. The shooter was threatening to kill them both if he handed over the sample of coke he'd stolen. At Juice's protests, he'd shot the member in the back, right through the Reaper on his cut. The shooter then repeated his request, aiming the gun at Angela.

Angela remained calm as always, that look in her eyes that showed just how dangerous she could be. Juice watched as she took a step forward, prepared to lunge at the man with the gun. Juice had been able to break free then, just long enough to grab the knife at his hip and sink it into the shooter's stomach just as Angela lunged for the gun. He'd looked up to see who the shooter was, but instead of finding the anonymous shooter's face, he'd seen Angela's eyes, wide with fear. Her blood ran over his hands as they both slowly fell to the ground. He watched as the light faded out of her eyes at the same he heard the soft click of a gun safety disengaging behind him. Without looking, he knew it was Happy; the Tacoma killer there to protect his little cousin. With one quick shot, he killed the unknown shooter just before Juice felt the cold, metal barrel of the gun press into the back of his skull. The last words he heard Happy say before he woke up still rang in his ears. "Time to die, rat."

Turning to the side, he was relieved to find Angela sitting there next to him, alive and breathing. He threw his arms around her, pulling her into his chest as he buried his face into her neck, pressing his lips to her throat to feel her steady pulse. "You're here," he whispered.

"Of course I'm here, goofy," she said softly. She kissed his temple, rubbing her warm hands up and down his back as she held him tightly to her. "What happened?"

He pulled away, shaking his head at her as he ran a hand over his face. "Nightmare," he explained, lying back down with a relieved sigh. She stayed sitting up, her worried eyes looking him over apprehensively. He grabbed her hand, tugging her to him. "I'm all right, Angel," he assured her. "It's just a dream."

That was a lie if she'd ever heard one. She'd seen the panicked look on his face when he'd woken up, felt him shaking as he calmed down...whatever he'd seen in his dreams must have been terrifying, but if he wanted to play the strong card, she'd let him. "Okay," she murmured, laying her head on his chest. With her ear pressed over his heart, she could still hear its rapid beating.

Juice kept one arm around her shoulders, his fingers slowly trailing up and down the skin of her arm as he tried to calm down. His nightmare was a clear warning that what he was doing wasn't going to turn out well for anyone. That if he continued, it'd end up hurting not just the club, but Angela as well. He couldn't risk that. No, he was going to get out of it. Somehow, he'd find a way. "It's going to be okay, Angel. I'm gonna keep you safe," he promised her. "Always."