News Flash (#MindOverMatterContest)

My Life In Pieces

News Flash: No ones life is perfect. And if anyone says differently,,, they're sadly mistaken.

Everyone goes through that rough patch, but what happens when your rough patch seems to never end?

I wondered the same thing. Years of being told I was worthless by a person that should have mattered the most.

My Father

One day, though, you realize that you're done crying over things you can't change, over people you can't change.

At first, I couldn't even believe the charade I was pulling and the next thing I knew I was an actress even Hollywood envied. Every week it got worse, if that's possible. What was once insults and harsh words were now screaming and intimidating threats.

I was told I was crazy and needed medication by my own Father. Growing up, that was a real kick in the gut and the pain ran straight to my heart. My insecurities always got the best of me, and I believed everything anyone told me. In my mind I was fat, ugly, insane, full of attitude, and a failure.

I'm not crazy

That was my constant mantra.

One day my life changed forever, and I don't mean in the fairytale kind of way. The screaming became too loud and the insults too deep until I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to find a way out one way or another. I cried until I felt like I couldn't breath and there wasn't a drop of fluid in my being. This is not all of my story, there is much more to add but the story of redemption is just as important as the war it took to get where I am now.

In a way we are all soldiers, fighting a battle that we choose the victor of.

Depression and anxiety are still a big part of my life. Even with some intervention I still struggle. Anxiety is looked down upon in the society we live in but it is something happening more often than not. All over this world people have stopped in the middle of their work day, hanging out with friends or have been awakened from a dream in the middle of the night with their heart in their throat,  covered in sweat, and struggling for air. Yes it's scary, but everyone needs to know so that judging isn't the first thing they do. The way I see it, that's the results of what life hands us, it's a side affect of life, if you will. And with some help, I think I'm okay with that.

The silver lining has been much brighter then the devouring evil void I had lived with not so long ago. The darkness no longer lingers over me like a cloud of gloom. I'm a new person that's working on being happy. My days are full of light, sure an occasional shower comes my way but now I choose to dance instead of cry, letting my troubles follow with it.