What if it's us? Phan

Part 5

(NARRATORS POV)

After they arrived at Phils flat and Phil wrapped Dans hurt arm up, Dan looked around in awe, it was an ordinary flat, 2 bedrooms 1 bathroom but Dan had never had the luxury to live somewhere so big, he was completely awestruck, Phil turned to Dan and grinned

"You like it?" Phil said

"Its amazing! Dan said, spinning around, his skirt poofing up to look like the top of a cupcake.

Phil just simply chuckled at the adorable boy before him, gosh he was so cute.

Dan looked around the flat some more, lingering from room to room, still awestruck on how Phil could afford it. Phil caught up to Dan.

"This room will be your room while you stay with me." Phil said, showing Dan around the room, Dan had sorta hoped he would have to share with Phil, in a friendly way of course.

"I get my own room? Sweet!" Dan exclaimed with a cute smile, Phil 

*LATER*

 little by little dan opened up and his stutter had mostly left him alone, only bothering him a few times in a sentence

Right now they were flopped down on the couch like awkward potato sacks trying to make conversation.

Dan gestured to one of Phil's scars, an eyebrow raised.

"H-How'd y-you g-get th-that?" His eyes lingered on the off white mark that sewed a straight line across Phils arm, it looked to have been pretty painful when being created.


He had noticed it before but he'd always been too frightened to ask before then.
Phil glanced down to a particularly noticeable scar on his wrist and he pulled his sleeves down, looking away and biting his lip "I-I don't remember how I got it, it must've been when I was high or when I was little or something." He mumbled.


He knew exactly what the scar was from and he refused to look up at Dan, his mess of raven colored hair covering his eyes and the nervous look on his face because God he hated getting asked about those.

The obvious kinda slipped from Dan's mind and he wondered for a bit more, his eyebrows tightly knit together as he thought.


"I-It lo-oks l-like it hurt.. a lot" he frowned.
Surely someone would remember such an event that would bring about so much scarring?

"It did." Phil mumbled softly, every time he decided to open up the old wound it hurt worse than the last time.


"But it's fine, it's just a scratch." He mumbled "can we talk about something else?" He asked, "please?"
"Oh, yeah- yeah, alright, um..." he was fresh out of topics of conversation and he just ended up awkwardly staring off at space in the direction of his hands.


wAIt-
It finally dawned on him like a freight train being dropped on his head.
That's what that was-
Oh god, he felt so stupid.

"how's your head feeling?" Phil said, quickly changing the topic.

He was fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of his sweater and he refused to look up. He just felt awkward and hardcore judged and stupid and gross.

"My-My he-ead is f-fine, it j-just hurts a b-bit" he wanted to die, holy fuck.


"Just.. rest, kay?" he let out a soft sigh and fidgeted with his hands, staring down at them because he didn't know what else to do.



"I-I need to take a piss, I'll be right back." He said quickly, getting up and running to the bathroom.

He offered a soft murmur of his sympathies and went quiet when he got up to leave.
Being the idiot he is, he said something along the lines of
"Have fun" and he cursed himself for how stupid and creepy he sounded.
Have fun? In the bathroom? What the fuck, Daniel?

Phil shut the bathroom door and buried his face in his hands, this is why he shouldn't have pulled his sleeves up.


He washed his face and he flushed the toilet to make things less awkward. He closed the toilet lid and sat there, staring at the harsh scar and shaking his head he wished it would go away, he wished he wasn't so fucking weak.
Dan ended up staring at his still healing arm and let out a sigh.


He had his own scars, sure, but he was always absolutely terrified of hurting himself so they were all much less consistent and visible.


He made up his mind to tell Phil about how.. how he really broke his arm..
Maybe it would make things less awkward for the poor guy.

Phil walked back out and sat down after washing his face a second time.


He sat next to Dan and faked a smile as he pulled his sleeves down "should we order food?"

"Yeah, uh.... could- could you order?I-I c-cant r-really, I mean-- I-I just get n-nervous" He fidgeted and looked like he wanted to say something, opening and closing his mouth every so often but giving up each time

"Sure, Chinese food sound okay?" He asked, pulling out his phone and pulling up the number to some random, really good, Chinese place.

He nodded and readjusted himself on the couch awkwardly to bring his shoes closer so he could pick at them.


He hated when his laces were uneven and got to work with fixing them quietly.

Phil nodded and looked over at him "what do you want, dude?" He asked softly.


He already had them on the phone and he was just awkwardly waiting.

"Um j-just some e-eggrolls" he murmured quietly, moving on to picking at his nails.


He glanced at him, opened his mouth yet again and gave up on trying to speak so he just kinda closed it again.




Phil ordered what the man wanted and he ordered himself chicken fried rice and some eggrolls because those are good as fuck and he was hungry.


He nodded and gave them the address and hanging up the call with a "thank you."


"Alright about thirty minutes and they'll be here."

"Oh- good" he flashed him a half smile and suddenly decided that he needed to retie his shoelaces again.


He didn't want to not keep himself busy in at least some way.

"Yeah- so ah- whole we wait do you w-wanna watch a m-movie or something?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, yeah- sure" he scrambled for the remote and fumbled to get the TV on before he handed the remote to him.

"Maybe we can just listen to music or something? I dunno what do you wanna do?" He asked. He was still upset over the man pointing out his scars and he held onto his sleeve tightly as he pulled a knee up to his chest.

"I um...." he gave up on stalling and finally said it
"Did-Did I tell y-you how I-I broke my arm?" He asked quietly, his voice trembling a little already.
Of course, the story was probably common knowledge by now, but not the true one.

"Yeah, the whole school knows, you fell, didn't you?" He asked softly, looking over at him and tightening his grip on his arm.

"Y-Yeah um well- well uh... y'see..." he scratched at the back of his neck and readjusted his shirt awkwardly.
"That's... that's not the entire truth" he murmured quietly.

"Then what happened? How did you break your arm?" He asked quietly.

"I... I didn't fall" he mumbled, his face reddening.
His face fell as well as the volume of his voice.
"It wasn't an accident"

"What?" He asked quietly, digging his nails into the fabric of his jacket.


"How.. wh-why?"

He went dead quiet and just rubbed at his cast, swallowing thickly.
Tears formed in his eyes and he blinked furiously, not daring to let them fall.
He couldn't bring himself to look at Phil so he just stared down at his hands awkwardly.

Phil took his hand off of his sleeve and he pulled Dan close, holding him tightly and mumbling soft apologizes.

Dan just kinda took a few shaky breaths.
"I'm sorry.." he mumbled, holding tightly to the man- as if, if he ever let go of him, that he might just disappear.


"I'm just..." he huffed out a weird half sigh
"I-I w-wanted to t-tell someone... anyone" his voice trembled and he struggled to not burst into tears.

Phil kissed the side of his face and held him even tighter, rubbing his back and whispering that it was okay and that he understood.


He felt horrible and he just wanted to make him feel better.

"I just- I don't.." he choked a little on an unexpected sob.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm... perfect... because I'm not" he was having difficulty holding it together.

He hushed him and kissed his head "You aren't perfect." He said softly "nobody is, it's okay, I love you." He murmured softly.


He ran a hand through his hair and held him tightly "I mean- my scars are nothing to be proud of but they're there.."

"I'm sorry, I was- I was being stupid and I didn't realize what that was- I never meant to make you uncomfortable" he rambled, tears slipping down his face.
(This poor bean.)

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair "It's okay, Dan, I get it, I'm not mad, just, self conscious." He said softly.

He managed to stop crying and he just kinda breathed shakily for a bit as he struggled to get his emotions under control.

He rubbed his back and kissed his forehead, mumbling soft words of comfort as he began playing with his hair.

He breathed a quiet "I love you" quiet enough where Dan wouldnt hear it,and nuzzled into him, finally relaxing a little.
"I'm sorry"

"It's okay." He said softly, kissing the side of his face and giving him a tight squeeze "I love you too." he mumbled softly

He was quiet for a bit before he realized that might be awkward.
"Uh..." he clumsily grabbed the remote.
"Movie?"

He laughed softly and shrugged "only if you're up for it, man, I don't care."

"I just...  I don't know.. sorry" he shrugged, his face reddening in embarrassment.

"It's okay, c'mer." He murmured, pulling him close and hugging him tightly and lowkey wanting snuggles.

He melted against him and flopped over onto the couch, pulling him with him.
"You're warm"

He chuckled and nodded, giving him another squeeze "You're comfy." He murmured softly.

"I m-might just keep you" he teased, kissing his neck and nuzzling into him.

He blushed lightly at the neck kiss and chuckled "You might? What am I a cat?" He asked with a playful pout.

"Yep" he laughed against the skin of his neck and gave it another gentle kiss.
"My cat"

He snorted and rolled his eyes "meow." He said halfheartedly, ruffling his hair and licking the side of his face.


"Great now I'm a furry" He giggled, shoving him away and only managing to just kinda awkwardly shove himself off of the couch, slowly flopping to the floor.

He laughed and gave him an impish grin "what? Cats lick people sometimes, what am I supposed to do? Plot against you?"

He stared at him from the floor before laughing his ass off.
"Oh my god"

He chuckled and offered him a hand so he could pull him up

"Y-You're a t-tad tall to be a cat" he teased, taking his hand and getting back up on the couch.

"I'm more like a tree." He chuckled, ruffling his hair and laying across his lap.

"Well- I-I like t-trees, so" he played with his hair gently, careful to not rip any strands out or anything.

He chuckled and let out a content sigh, nuzzling into his hand and looking up at him with a sheepish smile. "Do you?"

"Mhm, t-trees are m-massive and.. beautiful and.." Dan started rambling nonsensically about how much he loved trees, God help us all. at least he was opening up to Phil

He smiled softly and chuckled softly, he took the man's words in a different way but- he figured that he shouldn't get his hopes up, Dan was as straight as a board anyway.

He got onto describing the very structure of wood and just kinda rambled on and accidentally said something along the lines of
"God, I just love wood so much, y'know? It's so sturdy and thick"
It took him a solid moment to realize what he said was probably dirty sounding and he just ended up quietly giggling.
"Sorry, god, that sounded so wrong"


Phil covered his face and started laughing, his cheeks red as he gently smacked the man "oh my God." He wheezed.

"I mean- I mean-" he covered his face and just shook with laughter.
"Oh my god"

"You're so fucking amazing, holy shit." He laughed, his entire face red as he tried to calm down.

"It isn't wrong!" he giggled, casually dying inside.
"God- what the fuck did I just say?"

"I love wood so much, it's so sturdy and thick-" he could hardly finish his sentence, busting out into laughter and almost crying from how hard he was laughing.

"I-I mean, everyone c-could use a little w-wood in their life" Dan wheezed, hiding his face in shame. at least his stutter had stopped bothering him as much.

"Oh my god, shut up-" He snickered, slapping his arm lightly.

"I'm sure you could~" he taunted, flinching at the arm slap.
God, someone save this probably gay loser.

He blushed and covered his face "oh my gooood." He groaned, his cheeks a bright red as he chuckled soflty.

Well, fuck, okay, he looked kinda cute when he blushed.
"Whaaaat? Got something wr-wrong with that?"

"No- just- fucking- fuck You." Phil muttered, not moving his hands from his face.

Dan snickered and moved to get up, playfully punching his shoulder.
"The food could be here any minute, I hope you know you're getting the door"

He whined and got up as well, standing up and stretching "You suck." He grumbled as he got up to get some water and try and calm down.


"What?" he was partially oblivious to this and was just kind of an awkward loser.


"Maybe I do" he worried that maybe he had gone too far and made Phil uncomfortable but o h well.

He nearly choked on the water he'd began to drink, barely getting it down and leaning against the wall.


Two could play at this game.


"Could you now~?"

His eyes widened at the unexpected comeback and his face heated up in a blush.
"M-maybe"

Phil leaned in really close to Dan's lips teasingly.


"What, cat got your tongue?" He asked quietly.

"N-no" he was casually dying of embarrassment about now, rip.

He chuckled and pulled away and took another sip of water "that's what I thought." He muttered.
The doorbell rang and he opened the door and paid for their food, thanking the man at the door and wandering back inside "food!" He exclaimed.

"Oh, th-thank god, I'm starving" he chuckled, grinning.
He gestured him to come over excitedly.

He chuckled and set the food down on the coffee table, getting what was his and his share of fortune cookies.

Dan took small bites of his eggroll and kinda forgot about his awkward boner as he started shoving food into his face.
This was fine.
Totally fine.
Totally straight.
Just bro's being bro's.

He grinned and shoved an eggroll into his face, relaxing as he ate.


Phil was a smug little shit at the moment.

He glanced up at him with his mouth full and blushed just a little harder.


At least Phil couldn't say shit if his mouth was full.

Phil winked at him and continued to stuff his face, not saying a word.

He nearly choked in his food and tried to act as causal as possible, his face bright red.


Fucking Phil.

Phil chuckled and looked back at his food, continuing to eat and smiling softly. He was so smug holy shit.

He finally finished with his bite and looked at Phil with a raised eyebrow.


"What?" He asked softly, finishing off his food with a smile.

"What's with the- the grin?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow as he took another few small nibbles.

"What grin?" He asked softly "I just like fucking with you."