Against Her Will

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Sharing all of that had been quite therapeutic somehow and left her feeling lighter than she had in years. Yes, last night had been a good night. Temperance had already known that she loved Tanner but now she saw that they truly liked one another as well. She had smiled with him while rambling on into the early hours of the morning.

Tanner was the only person, other than Jackson, who had seen her smile in many many years. She had a feeling that he was her dream just as he had said that she was his. How strange! That a man would see her as a dream!

Did Temperance want to marry Tanner?

She nibbled at her lip.

The answer should be a resounding absolute yes but there was one thing holding her back. Marriage meant marital duties and even though she knew that Tanner would not push her, she also knew it wasn't right to deny him those things that a husband should get from his wife.

"It's been a long time since you ate with us, Temperance," Wilma spoke, pulling Temperance from her confused and muddled thoughts. "Jackson and all the men are still sleeping soundly. Is something...wrong?"

"No," Temperance shook her head. "No, for the first time in a long time I can say that I think things are going to be alright."

Temperance was surprised by the happy smiles that lit up the faces of the four women around her. "And does this sudden change of outlook on life have anything to do with your late night encounter with Tanner?" Wilma teased.

Temperance frowned. "How did you know...?"

"I was on my way to the outhouse and saw both of you on the balcony.. I didn't mean to snoop!" Millie quickly assured her. "I was just happy to see you smiling."

Temperance shifted in her seat and pushed her eggs around on her plate. "It has a lot to do with him, yes. But Wilma said some things to me yesterday that helped as well." Temperance looked at teach of the women in turn. "I owe all of you an apology."

"What are ya talkin' about, child?" Wilma asked gently.

Temperance sighed and thought about what she wanted to say. "I pushed each and every one of you away when what I should have done was pulled you closer. We all went through hell because of Trevor and those men and it wasn't right of me to turn my back on you."

"Temperance, child, none of us are mad at you for how you dealt with your pain..." Wilma began.

"That's just it," Temperance interrupted as she sat her fork down. "I didn't deal with it. I locked it all up and locked myself up with it." She glanced up at the ceiling and blinked back tears. "But I am going to work on healing now. I have an amazing son, I have a man who loves me and I have you--my friends. I feel like finally, after all these years, I can honestly say that we're all going to be okay."

A happy smile lit up Wilma's face. "Child, ya have no idea how happy I am to hear that!" she exclaimed with her hand on her heart. "Can I hug ya, child?"

Temperance nodded. "Please do... I think I've been needing that for a while."

Without making her wait any longer, Wilma wrapped her in a warm hug that soothed Temperance's soul and filled up a few of those broken empty spaces still left inside.

"Mommy!" Jackson's happy voice and the sound of his pounding feet had Temperance pulling away from Wilma. She stood just in time to catch Jackson in her arms as he launched himself at her. "Mommy, I woke daddy up!"

Temperance looked up from her son's perfect face and saw Tanner stumble into the kitchen as well. His face was lined from being pressed against a pillow, his blond hair was disheveled and his shirt was wrinkled and untucked.

He took Temperance's breath.

"Jackson, you shouldn't have done that. Daddy needs his sleep," Temperance scolded, finding that it wasn't awkward in the least to give Tanner that name for her son. In her dreams, Tanner had been Jackson's father, and now, because Tanner was such a loving and amazing man, he had made that dream a reality.

"It's alright," Tanner insisted. He stepped forward and laid a gentle hand on Temperance's elbow before kissing the top of her head. "He has some bony knees when he jumps on your ribs though. We need to feed that boy some lard."

"Jackson! You jumped on him?" Temperance exclaimed with a shake of her head.

"What?" Jackson shrugged his shoulders. "He laughed. He wasn't mad."

"That's right," Tanner ruffled the boy's hair and smiled proudly. "I wasn't mad at all. First time in my life I ever got woke up by my son. I couldn't be mad about that if I tried."

"Mommy, he was sleeping outside!" Jackson giggled. "I want to sleep outside!"

"He's lucky he didn't get all wet," Temperance noted, thinking of the storm that had managed to go around them.

"Can I sleep outside tonight?" Jackson asked excitedly.

Temperance sat him on his feet and was about to say no when Tanner laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I wouldn't mind some company just for the night--as long as the weather permits."

Temperance nodded. "That's fine with me then."

"Mommy, you can come too! We can have a camp out!" Jackson exclaimed excitedly before running to the counter and snatching a biscuit. Crumbs fell down his chest as he took a big bite and Temperance laughed lightly.

"Holy hell...." Tanner's muttered curse drew Temperance's attention away from her son and she realized that everyone was staring at her with surprise.

"What?" she whispered, feeling more than a little uncomfortable with all the attention.

"You got a real nice laugh, Temp," Tanner informed her. "I'd never heard it before."

Temperance bit her lip and thought back. "I haven't laughed in a long time." she admitted. "Not since my family died."

Tanner smiled and touched her cheek. "Welcome back, Temp."