VIRUS

Chapter 11- Campfire

    The rest of the day passed by quickly. And silently. No one questioned what Hamada had done. No one asked her for an explanation. They just seemed to know that Amelia tried to kill me, that she had become homicidal for the first time ever.

    I just couldn't believe that.

    She was crying... A virus was crying...

    The squad stayed away from Hamada during dinner, as did other squads. If there was one thing that would solidify Squad 119's rumors, it was her lash out. I kept trying to tell Logan and Magdalena what had happened, but they just didn't believe me. They said I had grown too close to her in the last couple weeks and it had made my common sense blurred. I tried looking for Sam, but she seemed to have disappeared.

    Hamada sat alone by a campfire behind our squad building. She looked distant, but then again she always does.

    I have to talk to her, I thought. I refuse to believe she tried to kill me on purpose.

    I walked over to her slowly, watching the orange light dance behind her green eyes.

    "Hey, Hamada?" She didn't move. She didn't blink. I began to wonder if she was okay. Then I realized that she probably wasn't. I sighed. "Can we talk?" I expected a sarcastic, emotionless response, something typical of Hamada. She never let her emotions loose, and I figured now would be no exception. I was surprised to hear a weak and sorrowful voice escape her lips.

    "Sure," she replied quietly. "Why not." I sat down beside her, watching the fire dance in her eyes. She seemed to be searching the flames for something. I wondered what it could be.

    "Hamada..." I began, but hesitated for a moment. I had no idea what to say. I exhaled and tried again regardless. "Hamada, are you okay? Something happened back there, something that was the hint of something you've been trying to hide from a lot of people... Probably including yourself."

    "Don't tell me how I feel," she muttered, not blinking. I paused, staring at her apologetically. She sighed and closed her eyes. "Amelia and I aren't so different, you know," she began carefully. "We've both been hurt. To a point where we'll never be okay again, I think." I swallowed my questions and listened. She opened her eyes and looked down. "I think it's pretty obvious how I'm hurt. I've showed how much I'm screwed up up here more than enough times."

"It's not screwed up to have emotions, you know," I said, trying to comfort her. She chuckled slightly.

"If you believe that you should try living my life for a day," she replied. "Some things are best kept burried."

"You mean Amelia?" I asked carefully.

"And other things," she responded hesitantly. "Some things don't stay dead when I think about them... Amelia, I guess, is one of those things..." I bit my tongue so I wouldn't interrupt her. "I've had to forget a lot of things from my past so that I can keep my sanity. And I try so hard to forget Amelia. But it just doesn't work that way." It was quiet for a moment. We just both stared at the fire and wondered what we were looking for.

    "You said Amelia had been hurt," I started quietly. "Does that have to do with what happened in the training room?" Her eyes flickered to Amelia's for a moment, and in that moment Amelia had taked over, a tear dripped down her cheek. Hamada blinked and wiped the tear away.

    "I don't remember what happened in there," she said as another tear leaked out of her eye. "I can't."

    I have a feeling she means 'can't' in more than one way, I thought. Silence overtook us again.

    "Hey, Hamada?" I asked. She looked up at me, wiping a tear from her eye. "Does it hurt? Having another mind take over yours?" She looked back at the fire.

    "No," she spoke finally. "That bit doesn't hurt."

    "Then what part does?"

    "The memories," she replied. "And knowing that I'll never escape them."