Fade into Black ▸ sirius black

36. The First Snow

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Yesterday I was clever,
So I wanted to change
the world.
Today I am wise,
So I am changing
myself.
- Rumi.
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Chapter thirty-six.

The first snow fell on December the sixteenth, and I had quickly forgotten all about the mysterious tea leaf reading when the holidays approached. Two weeks had passed by since Beth sent me away from our dorm. I had hardly had the chance to talk with Lara about all the things that had happened during the days away from each other, and it was becoming really frustrating.

I was seated in the library, struggling to form the last letter to mother and father before going home for Christmas six days later, but whenever I began to write the words seemed to get stuck underneath my quill. I didn't fancy to tell them about my little cheating story with Sirius Black, but that seemed to be the only thing on my mind. Him.

I dropped the quill upon the third attempt at a letter and gave out a sigh when looking out on the snowflakes that fell outside the windows, creating a white bedplate over the school grounds. Stop thinking about him, Alissa. I scolded myself, hugging my wrist hard.

Every second of every day involved at least one thought about Sirius Black, and Sirius Black's hands, and his hair, and his mouth, and his naked skin, and- Bloody hell, STOP IT! I grunted, again. I had presumably spent too much time with him the last couple of weeks for my own good. But I didn't have a reason strong enough not to be with him because the reason remain sane didn't seem to cut it.

"Ms. Fione, I'm closing the library in fifteen minutes." Irma Pince stuck her head inside the aisle to tell me.

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Irma," I answered and peered down at the empty paper once again. I had been trying to write something in over an hour now, it was hopeless. So I snatched the paper and crumpled it inside my hand. Mother and father would have to endure it without a report of my dramatic life at school. I slipped the quill in my bag and jumped down from my seat at the window, marching out the deserted library with hurried steps, as if the speed of my walking would make me think any clearer. It wouldn't.

The moment I stepped outside my body crashed into someone that had made their way inside, both of us so stuck in our own thoughts to notice each other.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry!" I shook my head before looking at the person I had crashed into.

"Alissa!" A familiar voice let out, and my eyes widened at the sight of Beth's face so near to mine.

"Oh," I gasped, shocked to see her here at this hour, "Hi," my voice sunk low. I reminded myself of an ashamed dog in front of its master after getting caught doing something forbidden.

"I have been looking for you," She then said, tugging on her sleeve.

"You have?" I arched a brow, and she nodded slowly.

"I figured it's time for us to speak about what everything."

Finally. I thought, but I was frightened to find out what she would put forth.

"Are you sure?" I said, taking a firmer grip on the strap to my bag.

"Yes, Alissa. I'm sure," She almost smiled when uttering the last sentence, and thereupon she pointed me up towards the nearest staircase. "I assume you've missed our dorm?"

Actually, not that much. Since Sirius had been spending every night with me in my own little room, doing everything except sleeping. At least I had got him to come to terms with two hours of study time before we could enjoy ourselves.