10 Reasons Why I Hate Santana Lopez

Reason 4

Santana Lopez is a filthy, sneaky, deceitful, little liar. She always had been, and she always will be. There is no way in hell that she would ever change, or at least try to, because the crazy bitch enjoys it. Yeah, that's right Santana, I called you a bitch! Do something about it!

During the summer between our second and third-grade years in elementary school, our parents had decided that we should all meet up for a play date. I don't know how they even met each other or knew that we were friends, but moms are sly like that. They just happen to know everything.

Anyways, my mom took me out one day without telling me where we were going, like it was supposed to be a surprize. But she had promised me that I would like it. That was a lie. Sure, I was excited when we drove into the lot of Chuckie Cheese's, but all of that went down the shit-hole when I saw Santana standing out front with her mother. Within the thirty seconds that it took for us to park and walk to the entrance of the entertainment center I believe I had come up with every excuse an eight-year-old's mind could think of to go back home. I had a belly ache. My feet hurt. I peed myself. I was sad because my hamster died (I didn't have a hamster). I was sad because my friend's hamster died (I didn't have any friends, just the devil). But my mom just pulled me along, yelling for Santana's mom and talking to her like they were old friends, which they were but I didn't find that out until much later.

Now, this was where things got weird. First I noticed that an alien had taken over Santana's little body. She quietly stood next to her mother, a small angelic smile on her face as she introduced herself to my mom, hands clasped behind her back and head tucked low in embarrassment. That was funny because nothing embarrasses Santana Lopez. Literally, she had once taken off her shirt at school because it was too hot like it was nothing. Eight-year-old Santana didn't have boobs yet, but still. So for her to suddenly appear embarrassed about something, the only logical reason for her actions was aliens.

Oh, but things didn't stop there; they got worse. Santana Lopez, typically a messy eater, ate her pizza delicately with small bites and even wiped her hands on her napkin instead of her lap. Selfish Santana Lopez shared her tokens with me, smiling all the while. Crazy Santana Lopez even held my hand to take pictures with Chuckie and our moms. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore.

With a straight face, I walked up to my mom and said, "We need to go home. Santana is weird, and I don't like her today."

The look on my mom's face said 'If there weren't any witnesses right now, I'd spank the shit out of you.' But instead, she just told me to suck it up and say sorry to Santana. I had commented on the fact that she was off playing a game and didn't even hear what I said but my mom pinched my ear and told me to do it anyway.

Grudgingly, I went off to find her and say sorry although when I found her, she was back to her old self.

"I'm sorry for calling you weird and not liking you today," I said as quietly as possible, hoping she hadn't heard me.

She just shrugged and kept playing her game, "I don't care. I don't like you every day anyway. You whine too much."

For some reason, after three years of tolerating her, this was the first thing she had said that got my blood boiling. "Well, at least I hang out with you. No one want's to be your friend because you're mean. You don't even act like a girl. You act like a stupid bully."

Santana stopped playing her game, and her eyes went blank. I had just blurted out the meanest and most clever thing that my child's mind could come up with without thinking of the consequences. But she stayed strong, not saying a word, so I did the same. I straightened my back and looked at her with the meanest face I could make. However, she refused to look at me. Instead, she left and went to her mom who approached me and my mom not shortly after, excusing herself and Santana from our play date because she was feeling sick.

But I knew better. Santana put on that fake smile, kissed my mom on the cheek and hugged me before she left. It didn't matter how cute I thought she looked when she shyly met my mom and it didn't matter that I had a little fun playing games with her. It especially didn't matter that my hands got a little clammy when she held my hand. Her lying ways didn't faze me. All that mattered was that I left her speechless because I had stood up for myself for the first time. I absolutely didn't feel bad about being mean to her. I promise I didn't.