Lovely Soul (Fifth Harmony/You)

Chapter Thirteen

***Flashback***

"We stand here today of the loss of Y/F/N who was  a best friend, daughter and a girlfriend. Would anyone like to say anything before we continue on?" The funeral officiant spoke. I began to walk in front of everyone and started to give my speech.

"My daughter Y/N was everything to me. She was the perfect daughter anyone could have in their life. To this day I'll never know how she perfected such an amazing personality and morals at such a young age. She was the type of person who hated the idea of others deliberately crushing a person for their own fun and games and put her loved one's feelings before hers. She was such a selfless person and I admire that so much about her."

"There was a time that I would never forget to this very day about her first day of school as a child. It was a school orientation day and parents were welcome to support their child for the day. Y/N who only has a mother, saw every other child with each hand held by their two parents. I thought 'Oh my god, my child is going to grow up with one parent and feel like one day they will need a someone to partake a father role in her life' but what astonished me was the most heartwarming sentence a five year old child could ever say to you if you were in my shoes, 'Mummy I will always love you. Daddy might not be here with us but he is always here' she said as she pointed her heart. A five year old understood my own concerns for her and I believe that is when her personality shone the brightest." I wiped the tears that fell down my face but I continued on with the speak.

"I wish I could have made more time with my daughter. It isn't easy as an only child who barely sees their mother because of their job and that's the one thing I regret. I regret not being able to support my daughter through her lows in her life. I regret not being able to start conversations with her whenever she had such a sour day. All I want you all to take from this is that you should never take people for granted. I never took Y/N for granted but I didn't give myself the opportunity to spend time with her and now there are things that I'll never be able to do as a family. I love you Y/N, I hope to see you in the future again." 

My voice finally gave out as I walked back to my original spot and cried into my palms. I felt someone hold me up as I felt my legs giving out. Why did I have to lose another person in my life? Was God trying to play with my life out of fun? I just wish that I could've done something to prevent Y/N's death. 

I regained the feelings in my legs and looked up, wanting to thank the person for holding me but I quickly stepped back and held everything in me not to pounce on the person. I'm even surprised that he even showed up after everyone knowing about his actions. 

I wanted to curse at him at the top of my lungs and slap some sense into him but his entire face looked so pained. Jonathan was not a bad teenager. I didn't object him ever when Y/N asked if she could bring him over to spend time with him at home. When they first started out, Y/N was happy. She was always a happy child but he made her radiate so much joy that I was so pleased to see her that way.

Everyone that has ever talked to me has bad mouthed Jonathan and I don't blame them. His actions paid the price of losing my daughter's life but he too lost his girlfriend. I can't help but empathise with him though it didn't mean that I wasn't angry at him. If I wasn't a nurse, I don't think I would have seen my daughter for the last time, even if she wasn't conscious.

I found out because I was just working at the hospital and another nurse calls me for an emergency so I get up and see Jonathan unconscious with cuts all over his body and blood streaming down his swollen face. Eventually when I helped to clean him up, a doctor pulls me to the side and takes me to another room. I saw my daughter on the bed with all these cables and wires attached to the IV bag, oxygen saturation machine and heart monitor machine. Her heart rate was so low and her face was so cold that fell to my knees and cried my eyes out. The pain in me got even worse from the moment I stood up, her body started to spasm and the sound of the long beep from the heart monitor said it all. 

I looked in Jonathan's eyes and he sobbed loudly. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in my arms, trying to calm his cries down. I may be angry at what he did but it doesn't mean that I was heartless. I just wish I could go back into time and tell Y/N I love her one last time in person before I went for work.

***End Flashback***

I turned off the engine and walked besides the girls into the graveyard. We didn't dare to talk as we slowly paced ourselves through the graveyard looking around the familiar place. Few steps later we stopped at the tombstone we were visiting to.

Here lies a best friend, a daughter and girlfriend. "Open Your Wings and Chase Dreams Like a Shooting Star." - Y/F/N 1997 - 2012

I felt my stomach churning in pain of being here but I had to do this for myself. I don't want to mope around any much longer and feel like my life should be held captive because I can't accept her being gone.

"Hey Y/N, it's us. I know we haven't come to see you in a long time but I know that you've been watching over all of us." Lauren said, breaking the silence. I allowed the girls to speak first before I tried to formulate some words I want to share with her.

"The five of us are now in a girl band group. Isn't that crazy? I remember you telling us that we should all create a band because Ms. Lovato introduced us the idea of Epic Records when we had that assessment for music class." Dinah said as she hugged Camila for some comfort.

"Remember how you said that I should go onto Dancing With The Stars because you said that I was the best dancer in the world? The producers called and gave me the chance to go on the show in the next season." Normani smiled, bringing all of us in shock and happiness for her since we all knew her dream that she strived for since she was a child.

"We miss you so much Y/N. There wasn't a day that we ever stopped thinking about you. We always think of how life would have been if you were still here with us." Ally said who was engulfed by Lauren and Normani, rubbing her back in condolence. 

"Since we didn't come alone, we will let your mum speak with you." Camila said timidly as the girls gave me slight smile before walking back out of the cemetery to leave me by myself.

I felt so nervous that the palms of my hands were so sweaty that it glistened under the sunlight. I cleared my throat and took a breath in as I was working my way to speak.

"Mum." I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head. I think I'm going insane. I knew I shouldn't have accepted Dinah's offer.

"Mum you're the most sane person in the world. You literally work at a hospital. I don't think they would hire anyone who was insane to be a nurse." I covered my mouth as I saw my daughter who appeared behind the tombstone. She looks like the age she would have been if she was alive to this day. 

"Y/N is that really you?" She definitely took after her father as her Y/C/H flowed over her right shoulder and her Y/C/E stared into my soul as she gave one of her happiest smiles that I have forgotten over the past five years.

"Yes mum, I'm here but I don't have much time."

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Damn this chapter was intense for me to write. Since I haven't uploaded in a while I plan to upload the next chapter soon. It was actually harder than I thought to write in the mum's perspective. 

- Joy