Just Make Du'aa

• t w e n t y • f o u r •

My husband quirked his eyebrow, "don't act like you didn't want to know. I know you Dina." My face flushed with guilt and he laughed, "it's okay, your curiosity is one of the many things I love about you."

"Does that mean you're not going to divorce me?" I covered my mouth right after the sentence ended. Earlier in the night I promised myself I wouldn't bring that up until he felt better, and I thought I'd put it in the back of my mind, but it just came out and took us both by surprise. Looking at Farouz's surprised expression, with his mouth open and his eyes wide, I rushed to explain myself, "I'm so sorry I'm so selfish astaghfirullah that's not even important right now! It just came out, and I wouldn't even blame you because this whole thing is my faul–"

"Dina."

I stopped, "sorry."

But Farouz chuckled, "you know you ramble when you're nervous?"

Again, my face flushed with embarrassment, "sorry, again."

My husband ushered for me to come closer, and he leaned to place a soft kiss on my cheek, "Astaghfirullah Dina. What I said earlier, that was the devil talking. Allah only knows what could have happened tonight, but you saved my life. And, again, Allah only knows how hard everything is about to get. So I'm sorry, but you're stuck with me."

I stretched to kiss his chapped lips, "that's all I want."

He hummed, smiling against my lips. "I know you probably want to talk," the haunted look was back on his face, "but let's save that for another time?" Then he turned to face the other way, and Farouz lay down, pulling the blanket up to his ears.

I did the same, forcing myself to keep my eyes closed and let sleep take me. But I kept thinking about that man! And the gun, I kept thinking about how scared and worried Farouz looked. Every time I closed my eyes I felt his disgusting hand go down my hair, his fingertips touching my scalp... a shudder ripped through me, and I pulled the blanket tighter around myself, praying the image away. A hand touched between my shoulder blades and I jumped. When I turned, Farouz was looking at me, understanding and sorrow showing in his eyes. He felt responsible for what happened, and the feeling was mirrored in me as well. I scooted closer and Farouz lifted his head, placing it on my chest. I hugged him to me as his arms snaked around me snuggly. My hands played in his hair and I felt him sigh against me. Farouz inhaled deeply, "thank you."

"For what?"

"For being my wife."

And we stayed like that, me hugging him to my chest and playing with his hair until his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

***

I don't know when sleep finally took pity on me and let me in, but I know that I woke up to Farouz groaning in pain. When the source of the sound registered in my sleep filled head, my eyes shot open and I saw him curled up next to me, his hands pressing onto his gut and his eyes screwed shut from pain. "Dina," he exhaled, "ya Allah, Dina wake up please!"

"I'm right here!" I placed my hand on his arm, "what hurts? What can I do?"

He opened his mouth to talk but all that came out was a painful yell. He gripped onto the comforter until his knuckles turned white, Farouz took short breaths in order to try and ease the pain. I watched, helpless, until I remembered the medicine the doctor gave me yesterday. "Oh!" I jumped off the bed and froze when Farouz let out another yelp, "sorry!" Quickly, I ran to the couch and grabbed my bag, when I turned around, Amity was standing outside the guest room, "don't leave." I said, knowing the look she was giving me, "just give me a minute."

"No, Dina I really should go. You two need to be alone and I have class anyway." I gasped in surprise when my eyes filled with tears, not noticing how panicked I still was. "Hey," she hugged me, "I'll always be a text away, Dee. Always. I'll see you later today? Okay?" I nodded, knowing it made all the sense for her to go. Farouz let out another painful groan and Amity kissed my forehead, "I love you girl. Go check on your man. I'll call you." And with that she snatched her purse and was out the door.