Rape

Memories

Memories
Posted on: July 25th, 2017
I am a 23 y/o male. For the longest time, the memory of my rape remained untouched in the corners of my mind. I can't quite remember the age that I was, but based on the context clues of my memory I would put myself around age 10.
I had just showered, it was morning and I walked through the house to the second level bedroom I shared with my brother who is two years older than me.
I remember laying down on my stomach on top of my sky blue towel down on the bedroom floor.
My next memory is of my brother commenting on the way I looked, before I know it he is behind me and he is grappling for an article of clothing that he had stolen from some classmate of his and tells me to "put it on so that I look more like a girl"
In what seemed like less than 30 seconds he pulled out and the feelings of shame flooded in.
This has been over 10 years ago now, my brother and I have never spoken about this incident. He has moved away and has a child now which is scary to me. I know I'm still dealing with the fallout of the rape. As well as being hyper sexual., Intimacy is extremely difficult for me.
I survived and I am facing every day with renewed hope.

— Survivor, age 23