Artificial °XiuChen°

° e i g h t ° e t e r n a l °

"Open your eyes. "

Jongdae's eyes cracked open, the light making him blink several times to adjust and bring the blurred shapes above him into focus.

A face.

Slanted, round catlike eyes. Lips that curled naturally, looking just as soft as he knew they felt. Just past him was a blanket of tree branches, swaying softly and occasional breeze leaving a few gaps between the leaves to show the baby blue sky above.

Jongdae felt a smile tug on the corners of his mouth, Minseok running a hand through the youngers' hair as he had his head rested on his lap.

"Did you sleep well?" Minseok asked, and slowly Jongdae sat up and stretched.

"I did, thanks to you." Jongdae's mind was in a slight fog from awakening, looking around the surrounding area.

They were on a hill, underneath the canopy of a few trees that inhabited this incline. The hill was familiar to some distant memory, one that felt somewhat foreboding despite not remembering exactly what it was.

He felt arms wrap around him, removing him from the daze of trying to remember, squeezing him tightly.

"You've been gone for a long time Jongdae... I missed you. " minseok whispered into the base of his neck where it met the shoulder.

Jongdae wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, eager to hold him. It felt like he hadn't done that in a long, long while.

"I'm sorry. I tried my best to find you as soon as possible. I was just looking in the wrong places." He partially didn't understand his own words, but they felt right in his mind.

"I know," Minseok said, then his following words came in but a whisper, though Jongdae still managed to hear him. "But you got here too soon. It wasn't time. "

Minseok pulled away from the hug, lightly brushing a thumb over Jongdae's cheekbone as the other clearly was caught up admiring him.

Slowly, Minseok's smile fell to a frown, hand still resting on Jongdae's cheek. The younger noticed, and nudged him.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Minseok studied Jongdae's eyes for a moment. "You're not supposed to be here. Not yet. "

There was a feeling of understanding, even though Jongdae had no idea what his words meant.

"What do you mean? I want to be here. " he furrowed his eyebrows. Minseok shook his head slowly.

"It was nice to see you again, but other people need you right now. You might be lonely," Minseok paused, to press his forehead against Jongdae's as his eyes filled with tears. Never before had Jongdae been so confused, so worried. "you might be sad. But that's what makes you human, and it's okay to be sad. "

Jongdae tried to understand what he meant, why he was crying and why his heart ached so badly. "I don't understand.." he whispered softly.

"I love you so, so much Kim Jongdae. This time it's my proper goodbye. "

'Goodbye? I don't want to say goodbye. I only just woke up. '

Minseok pressed his lips to Jongdae's, in a savoring, sweet caress.

Jongdae felt Minseoks hands move to his chest, warm and familiar.

Suddenly Minseok shoved him, Jongdae's eyes bolted open and he gasped for air, lungs burning and world spinning in flashes of white.

Something cold was placed over his mouth and nose, and it became easier to breathe. It was loud, so loud. He couldn't even make out anything above him except for the bright lights and blurred shapes.

Minseok. Where was he? Wasn't he just here?

"Minseok..." his throat burned in protest. Why did everything hurt? Why was he so tired?

Against his will his eyes went closed. Too bright. Too noisy. The noise got more chaotic as he decided he didn't want to be awake anymore.

He just wanted to see Minseok again.

•••

Weeks passed. No one spoke about what had happened.

Whenever anyone asked Junmyeon about what had happened, the only answer was a slight head shake and soft 'what happened is in the past'.

Today was significant though, it was Saturday. Junmyeon took it upon himself to take a bouquet of flowers to the graveyard, in a solemn silence.

There where three people he was here for.

One. Zhang Yixing. He always spent the longest there, kneeling in front of the cold gravestone and spilling his thoughts about everything that had happened. One of the things he regretted most was not having time to do this when they were together, not having time for just talking.

He left a large portion of the flowers there, before moving down to where he needed to go next.

Minseok and Jongdae.

Junmyeon knelt beside Jongdae, setting the rest of the flowers down and setting a hand on Jongdae's shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay. " Junmyeon spoke, breaking the oppressing silence.

"You know, he believed I could be alright again..." Jongdae's eyes were focused downwards, hair falling slightly into his face. "I let him down so many times. I don't want to let him down anymore. "

Junmyeon nodded slightly, staring ahead at the stone. "I know, it'll never hurt any less. You'll cry yourself to sleep and wake up on cold sweats because it hurts so bad to miss him... but you can get stronger and learn to manage the pain. To overcome and get better. "

Swiftly he saw the other run a hand over his face, trying to likely brush away tears.

"It's hard to imagine life without him. " Jongdae whispered, the crushing reality tumbling down and collapsing inwards. That's what the last two years had been. Trying to figure a way So he wouldn't have to live without him.

But it didn't work.

Artificial. Fake. Fabricated. Call it what you will, there was no denying he was gone now.

"It'll always be hard to. " Junmyeon replied. He understood, even if most others didn't.

Jongdae reached forwards, fingers lightly tracing the words Kim Minseok.

This is real. This was him. It was better then what he had made, despite how much it hurt.

•••

It hurts to lose someone. But that just means you're human. They can't be replaced. They can't be fabricated. But the memories remain, as true and beautiful as ever.

•The End•