Lips White As Snow

11-On The Topic Of Star Wars.

Author's Note: For those non-Star Wars fans, the tune Edmund is singing can be found below, starting at about 0:09.

Much to Edmund's disappointment, this initial gag received no response, so as they wedged open the front door of the house and slipped inside, he changed tack and went with Mos Eisley Cantina jingle.

Author's Note: Again, I've added this one in below.

This time, Hawes paused, and, to Edmund's delight, snorted off into giggles.

"Don't" she chided, sniggering. "We're officers of the law, for Christ's sake."

"Funny is it but. Lightsaber looks your light UV" Edmund replied cheekily, doing his very best Yoda impression, down to the facial expression.

"You wonder why I constantly tell you that I hate you" his boss groaned, flicking the UV light on and making the contraption look even more like a lightsaber. "Besides. Cameron designed it. So naturally it's reminiscent of popular 70s culture."

"Cammie designed this?" Edmund repeated, amazed. Hawes checked herself.

"I shouldn't have told you that" she sighed. "Too much on my mind, at present. Come on. Look."

In the UV light, four sets of footprints had shown up on the dark floor-two sets going up the stairs, and two slightly fainter ones coming down.

"Down we go" Hawes commented, leading Edmund across the hall floor and through to the kitchen, where the line Hawes had made on the floor the previous night glowing ominously by the service hatch.

"I'm not looking forward to this, might I add" Edmund commented blithely. "How are we going to get that down there, anyhow?"

"How are you, you mean" Hawes replied. "Surprisingly for you, I'm sure, I still can't fit down that hole. Therefore the main bulk of the investigating falls to you."

Edmund noted that he really should have realised that. With a groan, he acknowledged Hawes's point. She humphed.

"There's a few more bits and pieces in the bag for you. A tracker, for one, so I know roughly where you are-"

"There'll be no phone signal down there" Edmund pointed out.

"Doesn't need phone signal. There's also a couple of tools, in case there's any locks to break. There's also a hammer, which is as good a weapon as any in a pinch. Oh, don't look at me like that."

With a tut and a roll of her eyes, she flicked off the UV light, handed it to Edmund, and crossed to the chain, beginning to haul the dumb-waiter up once more.

Holding the UV light in one hand and the small Hessian bag in the other, Edmund couldn't help but feel like a bit of a twat. It wasn't the best look to be sporting as one was about to descend once more into an abyss of tunnels possibly used by an active drug smuggling ring.

But then, who said policing was glamourous?

Edmund voiced these concerns to his colleague, standing by the chain, who snorted distainfully at him. Edmund responded by pulling a very ugly face, before hooking the Hessian bag into his strongest arm, putting the UV lightsaber inside it, and descending into the pit.

When his feet finally hit the bottom with a bit of a squelch, Edmund stepped off the ladder, flicked on the lightsaber and held it aloft, only minorly disappointed that it didn't make the characteristic lightsaber 'schoooom' sound. The trail was pretty easy to follow, and Edmund set off quite quickly, lightsaber in one hand, Hessian bag in the other.

He had to walk quite a way-Edmund reckoned he must have been somewhere in the centre of Lesser Farthing village when the trail turned off into one of the smaller passages. He followed it, and came up against a dead end, with a small ladder and a wooden trapdoor above.

Edmund paused, flicking the UV light off and then on again. There was absolutely no light coming through the cracks in the floorboards, implying that he was probably underneath a carpet or a rug. Edmund guessed rug, as if people were regularly up and down this hatch then they probably wouldn't want to go through the effort of rolling the carpet up every time.

He pulled out his phone, extinguishing the lightsaber and turning his phone torch on, so that he could get some idea of the colours of the floorboards and the rug above. He took a few photos with his flash, just to make sure.

Only then, did he try and push the trapdoor up.

He wasn't expecting it to give, but give it did. In fact, it was completely unhindered by anything other than the rug, and Edmund inched it up a few centimetres, as he couldn't hear anything nearby. One side of the rug creased, letting a little bit of sunlight through-and the faint smell of baking bread.

Realising he had all he needed, Edmund closed the trapdoor, lit up his lightsaber, and returned the way he had come.