Encountering Lucifer

The End

I have been waiting to write this part as I have been feeling a bit under the weather ever since it happened. After my encounter with Lucifer and I was home again things started to go badly betwen us. I was honest to him about the face slap he had given me and that I didn't like it and that I didn't want it to happen again. He seemed okay with it. Lucifer liked poly-relationships. The ideal would be to have a little girl and a slave. I'm not in to being a slave at all and he said he didn't want me to be both but that he would like to have two girls.

As time went on he wanted more and more to get in to the polyamorous relationship stuffs. I said to him "Alright, I can try it. But I may not really like it" and he was very happy about it. Saying that I was amazing and that I was so understanding and such.

He found someone, I still today wonder if he had been talking with her without me knowing so. And things started alright, but things started to bug me as time passed by. Now, I'm a little straight through my sould. I can not think of myself sharing my daddy with someone else. It makes me feel abandoned, big time! I didn't like that she was the one who would get to talk to him right before bedtime, bedtime to me is crucial. All I want is to hear my daddy's voice before I fall asleep. I wouldn't give a shit what he says, but knowing he's there on the other side of the call makes me feel safe. Something else I disliked was how much Lucifer talked about this other girl, like really, almost every day and he said that she and I were SO different. And he talked about her as if she was amazing. I felt like just someone he really didn't need. 

Because of this I started getting on my grumpy mood. I tried to be happy when we talked on the phone, I tried my best to get into little space but I could sense he really didn't know what to do. And I'm the kind of little who almost 95% of my days am a little, with or without a daddy. My mind is always in little space, so for me having to try and get into little space was hard and exhausting! And whenever I opened my mouth I somehow said the wrong things to him. I could tell he was getting annoyed by me. Lucifer was not a daddy to me, when we got "together" he had just recently started getting in to the role as a daddy dom. To me, I realize now, it's just not workable.

Something else about little me, I tend to be very clingy when I find someone I like. I want to talk a lot, but I'm not so hard to entertain really. I once had a daddy dom who could put me infront of his TV and he could do something else. So, in a way I'm not too hard to handle. But aparently, me wanting to text Lucifer every day was not to his satisfaction. 

One day he just spat it out. He told me that when I was texting him I was keeping him away from his family. He told me I was a negative bitch who didn't give him any happiness at all.

And so it was the end of it all. But I've learned one or two things from this experience.