Majestic

22.

"We love the things we love for what they are."

-Robert Frost

The brush moved across my skin and I swallowed back my tears. Everyone knew something was up, but they decided not to say anything.

"Addy, can you do my hair?" Quinn asked and I nodded.

"You okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"I'm here to talk if you ever need it."

"Thank you, but I'm fine."

"Okay," I finished her hair quickly and she finished her makeup in the bathroom. A commotion at the door caused me to peer around the door. Randy was talking to Steph and I walked over to the door. My heart broke a little more when I saw that Josh wasn't with him.

"I've got to say goodnight to Caden. Tell Ollie I'll be back in a second," I nodded and closed the door behind her. I looked over at Ollie and Gabby and they were laughing. I walked over and Ollie looked up quickly.

"Thank you for being here today."

"Of course. I wouldn't have missed it."

"Twenty minutes till the wedding starts!" Quinn announced and we all jumpeed with excitement. I double-checked my makeup in the mirror and took a deep breath.

"Addy. Josh is here," I stopped breathing and my chest tightened quickly.

"Okay. Ollie, I'll see you downstairs," I pulled open the hotel room door.

"Hi."

"Hi," I answered back and looked at the ground in front of me. My mind was clouded and I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. He pressed the button of the elevator and we waited in silence. The doors opened and the silence continued. I wanted nothing more than to take back the last two hours of today, but I can't and it's eating away at me. The doors opened and the cameraman greeted us.

"Can I get a picture? I want to get all the couples separate before the group photo later."

"Sure," Josh answered and wrapped his arm around my waist. I put on my best, fake smile and pretended everything was okay between us. Once he finished, Josh pulled away and walked into the ballroom. I stared after him and clenched my teeth together. This didn't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks.

"Shit," I whispered and ran for the bathroom. I wiped under my eyes and leaned against the counter. Everything came flooding to the surface and I broke down for the third time today. I set my purse down on the sink and let myself cry.

"Addy?" I looked up and Steph looked at me quickly.

"Shit. Honey, are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. I talked to Josh about...about the baby. He got mad at me and now he won't talk to me. I am so stupid for bringing it up. I'm selfish. I should've left it alone because today is about Ian and Ollie. But, I'm so sad. I wanted that baby. I wanted my baby," I sobbed into her shoulder and she held me tightly.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could help you. I'm here for you Addy. I want you to talk to me about how you feel."

"I know, but Josh was the father. I want to talk to him about it. I want to know how he feels, so I can heal. He said we were in this together, but I feel like I'm the only one crying about this."

"I know. Randy asked him about it the other day and he changed the subject. I think he is in the mindset that he doesn't deserve to feel sad."

"He lost the baby too."

"I agree, but you physically lost it and I think he feels like your grieving takes priority over his."

"I just want my Josh back. Not this silent treatment."

"Okay. Why don't you wash your face and fix your makeup? Get through the wedding and then go and talk to him."

"Okay. Thanks for this," she hugged me again and left the bathroom quickly.

"You got this, Addy," I washed my face and reapplied my mascara and lipstick. I walked out and took my place in line. Josh appeared next to me and offered me his arm. I looked up at him for the first time since our fight and he gave me a small smile. I tried to return it, but my lips quivered. I looked away and waited until our turn to walk down the aisle. We reached the end and took our places across from each other. Claire De Lune echoed through the room and everyone stood. Ollie walked down the aisle and Ian smiled at her brightly. I looked between all the other couples and they were smiling at each other. I watched Ollie and Ian exchange vows.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," everyone cheered and they ran down the aisle. We followed them into the garden and straight into pictures. I rehearsed in my head what I was going to say to Josh.

"Just the groomsmen!" The photographer announced and I looked over at the rest of the bridesmaids.

"We only have three more group pictures and then it's time to party," we all cheered and I looked at Josh quickly. His eyes met mine, but he looked away and focused on what Randy was saying. The ballroom was turned into a dance floor and I watched everyone dance. Josh was nowhere to be found and I knew that us talking wasn't a possibility tonight. I walked outside and sat down on the wall in the garden. I pulled off my heels and pulled my legs into my chest.

"Hey," I looked over and Blake sat down next to me.

"Hey. I just needed some air."

"I think Josh is up in the room if you were looking for him."

"Thanks. I will go and find him."

"I think you guys will make up and come out of this stronger."

"I hope so too," I slipped on my heels and hugged him, "Wish me luck," I walked into the lobby and prepared myself for this meeting. I walked down the hall and knocked on the door quickly. I heard movement and I shook out my hands quickly. The door opened quickly and I took a deep breath.

"Addy?" Ollie looked at me and I flushed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I was looking for Josh."

"Oh. He said he had to leave. There was an emergency at his work," I struggled to keep my mouth closed and I nodded quickly.

"Thanks."

"He left without telling you?"

"Yeah," I walked down the hall and pulled off my heels. I walked into the hotel room and threw up in the toilet. I wiped off my mouth and washed off my face. Screw it. I grabbed the wine from the fridge and drank over half of it from the bottle. I wiped off my lips and took a deep breath. I needed liquid courage for this phone call.

"Addy?"

"Hey. Guess I was left out of the loop about your work emergency."

"There was a car accident. They needed all hands on deck."

"Sounds convenient to me."

"I have to go, Addy."

"Yeah, maybe you should just stay gone," I hung up and walked out of the hotel room without my phone. I climbed onto the bar stool and started ordering drink after drink. I wanted to numb everything. I wanted to forget about this day. I wanted to forget that Josh ever came back into my life.