CHAPTER 3-The Lavatory

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I am a hostage to my dream. Leaving it is impossible. Even if a part of me wants to go back. The price is too high ... but I must go on.

LoG, 217

The gentleness of the soft green sheet under Nalina still puzzled and surprised her after so many Big Ones.

She woke up in the far left corner of a massive bed with a canopy, just as she used to do when she was a child. Her eyelids were half closed. Mild cramps bothered her every Light. Nalina sometimes thought all of this was only a dream. I will wake up any moment now. I will see my parents, my brothers and sisters. All five of them, pushing each other on a single bed.

She remembered how they used to prepare for bed. Dad would lie down first; then her mom would lie beside him. They would be sleeping head to feet. "We occupy less space like that," they would say.

Then, according to their age and alternately placing heads and legs, like a horizontal human pyramid, they would all lay down in the same order. Miglena, Borna, Sobik and finally Nalina.

The bed touched the wall with the side that dad would usually occupy so that Nalina would always get the worst of it. Ofttimes, it would happen that, in the middle of The Dark, her siblings would push her away from the hard, grey bed. Then Nalina would remain curled up on the floor like some abandoned kitten, trembling, waiting for The Light and trying to fall asleep, not daring to make a sound.

Until she was four Big Ones old, dad would pity her, and they would trade places so that she would get the best spot, just next to the wall.

It didn't last long.

Mom thought it wasn't fair to the rest of the children. "She's big enough now," she would say. "Let her fight for her place."

Later, Dad slept less and less at home, in their tiny Namas, at the furthest end of Inns. Fourteen Big Ones ago, when Nalina was only six, The City of Lagad began The Water War against the people of Lug. Everyone, not just the Vigils, was forced to participate. There weren't enough people. The Leader of The City of Lagad, Gidenar, was convinced that anyone could turn the military tide in favour of their town. That was why he enlisted almost entire population. Sometimes it would be months before Nalina could see her dad. This didn't prevent Miglena and Borna from continuously pushing her out of bed.

Nalina now opened her eyes completely, blinking, and looked at the right side of the bed out of habit. I'll never get used to this. The bed is just too big, Nalina thought with a gentle smile, and then the sadness crept upon her.

Three metres by three metres were the dimensions of this wooden monster overshadowed with a light green baldachin. "This bed is a room by itself. What am I saying, a room? It's a whole freaking house!" she exclaimed aloud and then covered her mouth with her hand.

Nalina was so accustomed to her fifteen square metres, one chamber Namas. In it, all of them could fit only on one worn-out bed. There was also a small fireplace, a half-rotten dining table, and two broken stools; the family of six were living in one room, but she could always say something and receive a reply.

"Here, by saying things out loud, I keep feeding rumours I'm crazy," Nalina added, whispering to her chin. She got up, rubbing her dreamy eyes.

Nalina looked around the familiar room full of glass vases with white roses. Her tiny, pale feet joyfully hugged a dense, soft, viridescent carpet. Above her head, there was the coat of arms of The City of Lagad: a stone mushroom resting upon a water-filled barrel. While one wall was decorated with hand-embroidered tapestries representing various scenes from the city's history, others were painted with wild plants and multi-coloured flowers.

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