Do I Wanna Know

Chapter 43

I was pacing the apartment and trying to calm down while Camila had given up on trying to sooth me. She was making coffee instead because Ally should arrive any second now. The doorbell rang and I exchanged one last look with my fiancée before we made our way to the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hey”, Ally said in her typically cheerful voice but she was quieter and I instantly knew why. In her arms, she was holding her sixteen month-old son. Trevor’s head was resting on Ally’s shoulder. “He’s sleepy, it was a long flight”, the oldest explained as she noticed Camila and I staring at the child full of endearment.

“Come on in”, I said and saw Camila solely focusing on the little boy. The way her brown eyes lit up was causing my heart to swell. But I didn’t want to think about this now. However, Trevor seemed to like Camila right off the bat and started wiggling around, stretching his little arms out so he would reach my fiancée. Camila immediately took over and held the blond boy as if she had never done anything else. I gulped slightly at the image because I wanted this: our own little family. But there was still something I hadn’t told Camila.

“Let’s sit down, shall we”, Camila snapped me back to reality but I stopped Ally and hugged her first. She smiled at me after and I was relieved; at least a little bit. Sitting down in the living room, Camila was fully focused on Trevor but I focused on Ally sitting next to her. I took the reclining chair and pulled a thin blanket over my legs because I was a little cold.

“How was the flight?”, I started with small talk.

“Good, no turbulence but Trevor isn’t the best flyer. He doesn’t cry but he doesn’t like it. Just like Troy, who went to hotel because he wasn’t feeling well but he’ll be here tomorrow”, Ally informed me and I nodded gently.

“Ally”, I sighed lightly because I couldn’t handle making pointless conversation when I knew my best friend was possibly angry with me. “I’m really sorry for not telling you earlier. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I hope you know that.”

“I know”, she said but took a deep breath before meeting my eyes more narrowly. “I just don’t understand why you would tell everyone else but not me.”

“To be completely honest, I only told Normani. They wouldn’t let me seek treatment without someone there and she was the only one I told right away”, I confessed. “I didn’t even want to tell Camila.”

“You haven’t heard?”, Camila asked bewildered and looked at the older woman.  “Lauren broke up with me first instead of telling me what was going on.”

“Lauren!”, Ally gasped in a scolding but shocked tone.

“I know, I know that was a very bad call”, I admitted right after and saw Camila smirking. “Camila then told Dinah and I only told people who were living in New York like Alexa, Vero and Chelsea because they would notice something was going on. I didn’t even tell my family until a few days ago.”

“You what?”, Ally exclaimed and it was almost amusing to see her so rattled. It occurred to me how insane it was of me to not let the people I loved so much in. Being around them now was so uplifting.

“Another bad call. Trust me I’m trying to make it up to you all because I didn’t want to hurt you. I genuinely never meant to make you feel like I love you less because that couldn’t be further from the truth”, I continued more softly. “It’s just…you have your own family and your life to worry about. I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“But that’s what friends do, Lauren. They worry. And I have multiple families. You girls are my family as well”, Ally answered with a smile. “You are my sisters.”