T O X I C

5: Violet

My heart is pumping and I feel like my feet are racing faster than my mind when it’s usually the opposite. Axios is in front of me, his strong build racing around corners until we get to one at the end of a long ‘hall’. All I can think about is how I nearly killed the person who murdered my whole family and my boyfriend at the time, and how Axios stopped me from doing so. He comes to an abrupt stop and peeks around the corner. Before I can ask him what’s there, he puts his back to the wall facing us and slides down to the floor, motioning for me to do the same. I press my back against the wall, regulating my breathing. Axios does the same. It is quiet for a moment before Axios speaks up.

“What is it?” I ask, trying not to breathe too loudly or in his face.

“It’s…” He’s still gasping for air too. “Not important. We need to get out of here.” Axios averts his gaze from mine. He focuses on something imaginary plastered on the sewer walls.

“You acted like it was important.”

“Well, it’s not.” He snaps. He looks at me like he wants to apologize, but when his lips part it’s anything but that. “Cut the attitude and let’s go.”

Attitude?

He slides into the water and goes slow, trying not to make a lot of sound as he glides to the other walkway. When he’s not looking, I lean my head around the corner to peek. I just want to know what he was startled by. Then I see her, sitting in a cell of wooden planks up against a hole in the wall, two guards watching her every move. She looks around, her blonde hair bouncing with her green eyes until they meet my own. I give her a thumbs up, even though I don’t know if I can convince Axios to do it. We have to rescue her.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was Celeste?” I say a bit too loudly. My voice bounces off the walls and he turns around once he get’s up on the other side. His dark eyes burn a hole into my skull. He presses his lips together for a moment, undoubtedly trying to control his fiery temper. Axios exhales slowly, his eyes don’t meet my own.

“Why didn’t you listen to me and trust that it was nothing?” He spouts rage from his lips. Now he looks at me, and the familiar eyes I know make a home for a glare.

“It obviously wasn’t! I’m not stupid.” Then, more quietly,”Sometimes I question whether you agree with me on that.” I know he heard me because he closes his eyes and cocks his head to the left and at the floor, something he always does when he’s embarrassed, angry, or feeling guilty. I just don’t always know which one it is. Axios turns so his side faces me. It’s like he can’t stand to look at my face anymore.

“We don’t have time to save her.” He finally says, looking back up to me. I can tell that he’s feeling guilty about it through his eyes, but he doesn’t seem to want to try at all.

“We have to at least attempt. It’s Celeste, not some person we picked up off the street!” Anger bubbles up in my stomach and I clench my fists. I can feel my cheeks getting hot. I can’t believe this right now!  “What’s gotten into you? I expect you, of all people, to understand!”

“What’s gotten into me? You’re the one who wants to go on a suicide mission to save some girl you don’t even like! You want to risk your life for someone who doesn’t even care about you but you have a person right in front of you begging you to save your own life.” He shakes his head but he doesn’t let go of his eye contact. “You can’t always be a hero. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.”

“This is so selfish, Axios.” I lower myself into the water and wade my way through. With every step buries another slice of guilt into my stomach. I hesitantly take Axios’s hand and climb up. For a second, we stand there with each other, just looking into each other’s eyes, like we’re communicating through our minds. I want to tell him how bad I feel about doing this. I want to try and convince him to go back. But I want to survive. A slight smirk plays on his lips. He knows. Usually I would be comfortable with him knowing my thoughts, but this time I don’t feel like I’m okay with this. After that, he’s more serious.