Vlad's blog: Confessions of a vampire

Saturday, August 6th

You're curious about what that pathetic excuse for a human being turned into, right?

Don't deny it, it's in your nature. Always sticking your nose where it doesn't belong,eavesdropping, gossiping, trying to find out who's fucking who, when and where.

I may feed on you lot, but you feed on yourselves, too. You're cannibals, feasting on your own kind's misery. You enjoy weddings only to drool over divorces and broken families. You crave stories of fallen stars,scrutinize pictures of models for traces of cellulite, jump on stolen pictures of any actress's pussy, can't wait to see the latest celebrity breakdown. You collect pictures of war like medals, andvglue your eyes to pictures of mutilated corpses like they're from gore movies. It's all over your news, and you can't ever have enough.The more humiliating for others, the better.

Let me indulge your lowest instincts, then.

The boy wouldn't have turned into a vampire. I told you, it doesn't work that way. Our blood is poison for your kind. A poison that kills most of you,liquifying your insides, making them leak from your body. The smell is unbearable, trust me. Killing the fat kid was an act of mercy. I shortened his pain and made sure he did not turn.

Because when humans survive such a delightful process, they turn into creatures much like those in 28 Days Later. Berserk-undead with only one thought in mind:eat flesh. They would pounce on you and rip you apart just for a taste of your liver. I guess some cases were mistaken for rabies... A strange form of rabies, where the patient would not die—ever—unless the brain is destroyed.

I know you're tempted to call that a zombie, and I'm sure Romero and friends took some inspiration there. But these little spawn of ours can't spread their killing spree. The next zombie apocalypse isn't nigh.

Too bad, I know. It would have been so much fun to watch.