1. That's not my thong.

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I searched through the couch cushions trying desperately to find the damn remote. If Carlos was here, he'd know exactly where it was. But he wasn't here. He was with one of his girlfriends or the frickin' mother of his child. Dammit, I won't cry.

My hand came upon fabric and I pulled it up. Idiot. I was an idiot. What did I think I would find? Certainly not the hard plastic remote. No, it was a lavender thong.

I screamed as I flung it across the room and it landed on the bookshelf. Nauseated I washed my hands, picked up a grocery sack and bagged the offending panties before throwing them away. Fuck, they were expensive. Maybe that's why he strayed, because I wore boring panties. Shit, I needed a drink. I should really stop swearing too, if I wasn't careful I'd drop a bomb on one of my patients and that would be bad.

My phone rang and I was relieved it was Olivia.

"Guess what? I just won tickets to the concert Friday night, with backstage passes!" Olivia excitedly went on, "I've got two tickets. So, if you want to bring a friend, I'll totally give them to you."

"What do you mean? Don't you want to go?" I asked.

"Um, not really. I like the bands but I don't want to go backstage."

"Why the hell not? Hot rocker dudes? Come on, you have to go! You haven't been laid in three years and I totally could do with a wild girl's night out. I just found some bitch's thong in my couch!" I took a breath, "I'll take you to dinner, Chez Louis..." I knew she couldn't resist Chez Louis.

"That's not fair," she whined, "You know I'm a foodie!"

"I need this night, Liv. Please?" I begged.

She paused for a moment before answering, "Ok. I'll be the designated driver. We'll get dressed up and see if we can't find you some hot dude to take your mind off the asshole. Someone who's really hung, totally fit, and only available for twenty four hours of incredible sex."

I laughed, "Yeah, that's what I need. So I'll bring my stuff to your house and we'll get ready there. Ok?"

"You sound excited about this." She said.

"I am. God, finally something to look forward to. You better not chicken out on me, dammit."

"Of course not. It'll be fun." She said lamely and I just laughed.

"I know this isn't your thing, but color outside the lines for once, would ya?" I said and she giggled.

"Outside the lines?"

"All the way outside. See you tomorrow. Oh, and Liv? I'm dressing you and doing your makeup."

"Shit. See you tomorrow." She hung up.

---

Friday night we sat in Olivia's master bedroom, she complained about the skirt I brought for her to wear, but she didn't change out of it. I took that as a small victory. She refused to put on smoky eyes, but at least she let me straighten her hair and put on some makeup. Seriously, sometimes she was such a guy. She was an Amazon goddess compared to me, all long legs and disgustingly slim. She looked like she ran twenty miles a day, but she didn't. I would hate her but she was my best friend. She was also a nice girl, in the truest sense. I had been married for the last five years, and worked with her at Stanford for the last three. She rarely dated and was famous for her dating rules. First she wouldn't date anyone she worked with, second, no kisses until the third date. Kisses! As far I knew the woman hadn't had sex the entire time she worked with me. Shit, I thought my life sucked.

"You know, Liv, if you see someone you want to go home with tonight, I'll totally be your wingman."

She looked at me with total disbelief, "Uh, no. Tonight is about you. Thank you for dinner by the way, I owe you for that. Tonight we will enjoy the concert and if you really feel up to it, I'll go backstage with you."

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