Three Little Birds

Safe Haven

"Good morning, sleepy head." I kissed the top of his head.

What Liz had said to me before she left for work made me feel better about the situation. I had indeed never thought to look at it as a strength, as a milestone I passed, and I smiled to myself.

Mykel nuzzled into my neck, kissing the skin there. I wondered about him, about us. About myself. A part of me was still terrified. Terrified that Mykel would turn out like everyone else. That one false step will send him spiraling into a fury and I knew I would not be able to deflect those blows.

I was terrified in the fact that I was falling for him. Falling hard and falling long, and I was clueless as to how to proceed. The way he made me feel was exhilarating. For the first time, I was getting a taste of the affection that I had always craved and had always been denied.

Back then I had convinced myself that the slew of john's had cared something for me; after all, not all of them were monsters. That's what I told myself, anyway.

I wanted to say so much to him in that moment but all words made a hasty exodus as his hand slipped under my shirt.

His lips had stilled, lightly brushing my skin when he shifted, as did his hand. His fingers splayed against my ribs, soft and undemanding; his touch holding the air in my lungs.

His touch, all of it, made me dizzy but in the best way. The feel of his skin on mine sent small electric shocks rippling through my entire being, and I found myself, and not for the first time, craving more. I never wanted those men to touch me, and every single time I disconnected, dissociated, and did not come back to myself for several hours after any of them left.

But here and now, I found myself wanting his hands roaming my body, to feel his lips tracing over my skin, wrapping around more sensitive areas.

"Mattie? Are you all right?" He sat up as he spoke, his voice and face showing concern, his hand sliding around to my stomach, but still flush against my skin. "You're trembling."

I nodded, but in affirmation or confirmation, I do not know. "Liz rolled me a few before she left. Smoke with me?"

My voice shook as I spoke and he looked at me with such intensity that I had to turn my gaze away for fear he would see down into my soul. Into the darkest places I had yet to allow him or anyone else privy to.

"Yeah," he answered, "let's go inside though. I'm getting a bit nippy." He smiled at his choice of words. I smiled at him.

"Come on, mon bonheur." He reached out his hand to me and, lacing our fingers together I followed him inside.

Mykel grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and tossed me one. I looked at it and looked at him as if it were an offending object I wanted nothing more or less to do with than a bomb on its last five-second countdown.

"Yeah, you're right," he said taking the bottle and replacing them both back in the fridge. "How about some hot chocolate?"

I smiled and nodded.

He grins as he turns toward the cupboard and grabbed two glasses before taking out four packages of Swiss Hot Chocolate.

"Two packages are always better than one. Makes it thicker."

He handed me my cup once I was comfortable on the couch and sat down beside me. I took a hesitant sip. The chocolate flavor filled my mouth and I smiled, delighted.

"This is really good!" I exclaimed, smiling at him brightly and child-like.

He smiled back, fully mirroring my excitement. I could see the look in his eyes behind his smile. He was wondering, but he was not going to ask.