From The Ashes We Will Rise

02 - Forest Of Memories [1]

[4 months passed]
Camp Kepler is finally settled in.
Riley have gotten closer to Clarke.
Way too close to be called friendship
And both sides learned form one another. Everything is finally going great for Riley's people.
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Clarke's POV :

"I'm off to bed. Are the night shift in there places?"

"Sha. Wanheda. Is there anything else you might need?"
A 10 year old boy named Link said before running off toward the others.

I entered my room to find Riley still here. I thought she went back to
Camp Kepler.

"Finally"
She said before standing up to embrace me.

"What are you doing here?"
I asked

She sat on the edge Of the bed
"Well. I was hopping to have alone time with you. We haven't yet since your always busy and my father always ask for my attendance"

"Oh. Wouldn't he know your not home?"

"Iv asked my brother to cover for me. Therefore I have the whole night off"
She said

What is the signal is she sending?!
I'm not ready for a relationship.
I have responsibilities to handle. And
I'm technically still with niyla-

Riley pressed her lips aghast mine.
Catching me off gaurd.

"What was the for?"
I question

"I had to shut your thought some how.
You were thinking too hard. And I wanted to"
She sat closer and grabbed my hands

"You never told me this. But I know the heda was someone who loved you and you loved her. But move on. with me clarke"
She said

"I'm not ready to do any of tha-"
I was saying until she push me on the bed and kissed me harder.

"Riley. Sto-"

I demanded her to stop.
But she didn't want to listen.
Her brown hair was braded almost just like Lexa. Or Niylah.
But her eyes. It was her eyes that got me to give in. Her green with gray around the middle spooke to me.

My mind gave in.
But my heart was in pain.
For feeling like I'm hurting lexa.
She should be the one im kissing.
The one on my bed. In my arms.
Not Riley. Not anyone but lexa.

I woke up with the sun shining through the window by my bed.
As I turn i realize I'm alone.

Wow. She just fucked me and left.
I don't even know if I should be hurt or not about her leaving.

I had the weirdest dream.....
If it's a message then it's so unclear.

I dreamed
"L-lexa?"
I asked in confusion
Seeing her. Being cuddled up against her.
"I'm here. Clarke. Im home. I'm finally home."
And my vision began to blur out and I see a light getting brighter and brighter.

I wake up not only facing the sun. But also the girl I thought liked me left before I before I could even say 'Goodmoning'

Riley is a great person.
Caregiving. Soft hearted.
But she falls too fast.
Feel pain too easy.

She needs alot of looking out for.
She can't fight. Or survive without help. What if somewhere out there are survivors. And they take her to get information about my leadership?!

Then I'll end up like Le-lexa.
I lost finn. And niylah. And most if all
I lost Lexa. I can't imagine going through that ever again.
I thought losing Finn was painful.
But I was wrong.
When lexa died.
I felt lost. I needed to be left alone.
I needed to change. Needed to be saved from my own self deconstruction.