Stuck in the Illusion Called Us [Siegfrid & Eleanour]

Kabanata 28

Nakatulala ako sa kawalan, siguro’y mga labinlimang minuto na matapos noong maputol ko ‘yong tawag ni Lily, nang may dalawang bisig ang yumakap sa baywang ko mula sa likuran.

“How about we go swimming in the falls today? What do you think?” Siegfrid asked as he nuzzled his nose into my neck, him smelling citrusy aftershave. “Or we can stay here in the bed all day.”

I took a deep breath and lightly pushed him away from me, hating how he was acting like there was no big problem happening right now.

“Eleanour, are you alright? Are you sick? We can go there another time if you are not feeling well today—”

“Umuwi na tayo,” imbes ay sabi ko.

“Oh, about that. I am pondering the possibility of extending our stay for another week. I am enjoying it here, don’t you?” he remarked.

“Umuwi na tayo, Siegfrid,” muling giit ko.

“Come on, one alone week with you is not enough,” he whispered.

“Umuwi na tayo!” halos sigaw ko na.

He did not answer, and I shook my head, watched in disbelief as he dropped the towel wrapped around his waist and put on clothes in front of me like he had not heard what I said.

“Siegfrid!”

“But we have not yet experienced all the things this place has to offer, Eleanour,” aniya pa at hindi ko lubos mapaniwalaan kung papaano niya nagagawang ngumiti sa kalagitnaan ng lahat ng ito.

Pumikit ako nang mariin at pilit na kinalma ang sarili na anumang oras ay sasabog na. Sa kawalan ng pasensiya at habang hindi na talaga mapakali pa ay tumayo na ako, hinagilap ‘yong bag na dala ko para ayusin na ‘yong mga gamit ko. We had to leave now. I had to tell the medical board that it was my mistake. I was the one that had to be punished, to be revoked of license not him. I was the one who caused the tearing in his gloves, resulting in the infection of the baby now in critical condition in the ICU.

“What are you doing?” he asked as I felt his presence behind me. “Come on, baby, let’s stay another week—”

Natigilan siya noong umiiyak na humarap ako sa kaniya. I could not pretend this was nothing. I could not stomach the weight of my actions. The baby’s well-being was now hanging in the balance, almost dying because of my shortcomings as a nurse.

“Hey!” he exclaimed in a panic.

“Umuwi na tayo, Siegfrid!” I insisted.