Stuck in the Illusion Called Us [Siegfrid & Eleanour]

Kabanata 12

I had been successfully avoiding Siegfrid for the past weeks now, pero sa pagkakataong ito ay isinantabi ko muna iyon. When he asked if I wanted to come with him back to the province, I said yes and did not hesitate.

Tahimik akong naupo sa loob ng sasakyan niya. Kanina ay nagpalit na siya ng damit sa locker room nila at kumuha rin ng ilang damit doon na pampalit. Matapos ay dumaan kami sa apartment ko para makapagbihis naman ako.

We were excused from our classes today and tomorrow. Bukas na raw ang libing nila kaya kailangan na naming pumunta.

Another set of silent tears fell down my cheeks. Hindi ko pa rin talaga mapaniwalaan ang mga nangyari. Noong umalis kami ay maayos naman silang dalawa. Lola Tere was fast recovering and already doing fine. Wala namang sakit si Lolo Selmo. Hihintayin nga raw nila ‘yong pagbabalik naming dalawa.

Kaya, bakit naman ganito, Lolo Selmo? Lola Tere?

According to our professor, Lola Tere was brought to the hospital again because of another heart attack a week after we left and had been comatose since then. And true to what Siegfrid had told me before, Lolo Selmo was not emotionally stable. Hindi niya raw iyon matanggap kaya hindi nagkakain at ‘di kalaunan ay nanghina ang katawan. At the same day that Lola Tere had died, hindi na rin daw nagising pa si Lolo Selmo.

I did not know if that was even possible. Pero siguro ay ganoon nga talaga nila kamahal ang isa’t isa na hanggang kamatayan ay magsasama silang dalawa. Now, I had learned and understood the power of marriage vows. Lolo Selmo and Lola Tere had proven me the magic of love, the wonders of for sickness and in health, of for better and worse, and till death do us part.

But still, I could not help but to think about the what ifs. Kung siguro hindi kami umalis agad ni Siegfrid ay hindi ito mangyayari. Baka naagapan pa sila o ‘di kaya ay nadala agad namin sa ospital. Baka sakaling hanggang ngayon ay buhay pa rin silang dalawa.

Gabi na nang makarating kami sa lugar nila. I told myself that I was not going to believe that they were already dead unless I saw it happening in front of me, until I saw them lying in the coffin with my own two eyes.

Pero wala na talaga.

Totoong lumisan na nga silang dalawa.

Maliwanag sa bahay ng mag-asawa at maraming tao sa loob at labas. The last time it was like this was when they celebrated their golden anniversary. Pero ngayon ay ganito, marami ring tao, ang kaso ay lamay naman.

Ang sakit, lalo na at itinuring ko na silang tunay na lolo at lola ko. Wala ako noon kaya naman sobrang saya na nakilala ko sila.