The Diary That Was Long Overdue

June 25th 2012

Things are starting to get better. My therapist Bonnie reccomended writing about the good times too, so when I have a bad day I can go back and remember the good days. Moms out of her slump she has been helping me get out of mine. She even came to a therapy session which is huge for her, the only time she had ever been to a therapist she had a terrible experience. That isn't my story to tell, so just trust me it was bad. Bonnie explained to her that it would be really good for me to be able to have Anne back in my life, because the bigger the support system I had the easier it would be for me to get better. Mom listened and agreed but that she would need to have a talk with Anne one on one, about how she had dissappointed my mother and ultimately hurt her feelings, because my mom has always been like a second mom to her. We were alot like sisters growing up together and all. I was so excited to have my best friend back. That wasn't even the biggest breakthrough though. My dad (Eric) and my brother got their own place and dad apologized and wanted me to come see my room. I went and I was thrilled, I had missed them so much. I couldn't believe dad got me a room! When I first got there Donnie was still mad at me, so we all had to sit down and have one of our famous family talks. Which really just made Donnie more pissed off at me. We ended up having a heart to heart one on one though, and I explained that I didn't want any of this to happen either and how much I have missed my brother. We hugged it out and spent the weekend watching movies and playing video games, while most of the time dad was locked in his bedroom. We didn't mind all that much though that was the normal. It was so nice to be back to some kind of degree of normal. Even though my dad was in a bad place, and not really him I learned Id rather hang with the monster than not to be around at all. Plus I needed Donnie back its always been me and him against the world, we always had each others backs. I have also been visiting Aly and Dustin, and my little brother Jeremy quite alot. I really like Aly she is so sweet and she just seems to get me, but again maybe thats because shes 19 and only 5 years older than me. Jeremy is the sweetest little boy, but he is a handful he doesn't like alot of people. I have never seen such a picky baby, but he loves his big sissy. I think he might have autism, I have heard that when people have that they don't really enjoy socialising and they only liked being touched by people they are connected to. I mentioned it to Dustin, but he waved it off. Like what does a 14 year old know? Dustin has also been really great, he still doesn't feel much like a dad to me though. More like a cool uncle, he takes me and my cousin Drake and Anne fishing alot which I love! He taught me how to set my own line up and use an open cast rod so I could jig fish better. Anne got a new nickname though, Tangles. If it doesn't explain itself she always gets her line tangled, whether its on seaweed or on trees. We all always have a blast when we go though. It feels like my life is coming back together, and I have my first boyfriend. Hes a secret though because hes 5 years older than me. He could get arrested if anyone found out. His name is David and he doesn't live too far from my moms house. Anne found out about a small party about two weeks ago and we went. I wound up having sex with David, and she slept with some other guy there. I thought he was my first one night stand, but he had snuck around my back and got my number from Anne. He texted me the day after asking when he could see me again. He was this sweet older hippy dude with long hair. I knew he was probably too old for me because he had a beard but I wasnt sure how old. We havent had the age conversation yet, and Ill bet he thinks Im older because everyone does at first. I don't know what Ill do when it comes up, I really like this guy. Afterall he is the first guy I have willingly had sex with, and it felt good to make the choice too. I think this might just lead to something serious. Its not as hard to sneak out to see him either seeing as mom is always at work.