Technically So

Prologue

           

You have never been in love until you've been in love with the wrong man. There I was. Stupid. I was giving birth to a beautiful baby girl and my man was at the club. It was two o'clock in the morning on a Friday. His boy was performing and he couldn't miss it. He could, however, miss the birth of his daughter. I was alone in the delivery room, pushing with everything in me. I didn't care about Desmond. I didn't even care about myself. I just wanted our child to be healthy.

            It was midnight and I woke up out of my sleep in the worst pain of my life. I thought Desmond had come home after I fell asleep. Feeling around the bed, I realized that he was not home. I tried to stand and I couldn't. I kept calling Desmond and he wouldn't answer. Call after call, no answer. Finally, I called Tech. Tech was Desmond's right-hand man.

            "Tech," I said through moans.

            "What's up, ma?" he said.

"Tech, is Desmond with you? The baby's coming."

"No, he's not with me, ma. He's still at the club. Where's your mama and your sister?"

"Look. Get him here. This baby is not waiting on either one of us. You have to get him here. I'm going to have this baby in the bed."

"Hold what you got, Kyn. I'm coming. I'll get you to the hospital."

"No, Tech," I shrieked. "Just get him here."

I waited for about twenty minutes. I was in so much pain when Tech walked into my bedroom. Desmond let him have a spare key for situations like this.

"Kyndall, come on. I couldn't get Des on the phone." He picked me up. I couldn't even argue. I just wanted that baby out of me.

Tech rushed me to the hospital. We still couldn't get Desmond to answer.

The nurse put me in a wheelchair. "Sir, are you the father?"

"I hope not," Tech joked.

The nurse didn't find the joke amusing and neither did I. "Are you coming back with her?"

"No, I don't really want to know that side of her like that. I'll chill out here until the father gets here."

"Tech, please," I begged.

"You got this, baby. I'll make sure Des gets back there."

I was outdone and ashamed. I should've been having Tech's baby instead.

I was tired. That delivery took all my energy. Desmond still wasn't there and our baby was already three hours old. My heart hurt as bad as the rest of me.

There was a knock at the door. Tech peeked his head in. "Hey, ma. The nurse told me I could come in."

"Sure. Come on. Sit down." I was almost out of it. "Have you heard from Desmond?"

"Yea, he's on the way here now. Where's my niece?" He changed the subject.

"She's over there." I pointed at her crib in the corner.

Tech walked over to her. "What did you decide to name her?"

"Kelsi."

"Kelsi. That's cool. Look, I didn't mean to leave you back here by yourself. I thought somebody would've came to be here."

"No, don't feel bad. You did enough by bringing me here. Desmond is the one I want to strangle." I rolled my eyes. "He's so selfish."

Tech went over to the sink and washed his hands before picking up the baby. "She's beautiful, Kyn. Desmond's foolish."

"I have to agree. I cannot believe I just had his child and he's not here."

Rocking Kelsi, Tech sat in the seat beside me. "Listen, ma. You have her to think about. You need to leave Desmond and take care of the two of you. It's crazy what you see in him. That's my boy and all, but I would never leave the mother of my child to go into labor by herself."

"Tech, why didn't I notice you first?"

"Stop." He kissed my forehead. "Everything happened the way it was supposed to. Kelsi wouldn't be here had you noticed me first. I'm not that great of a guy. You know that."

He was right. He has ran through the best of them, but he was still more a gentleman than Desmond was. Don't get me wrong, the warning signs were there when I met Desmond. I just chose to ignore every single one of them.

"Daddy's home!" Desmond said, bursting into the hospital room. "How are my two favorite girls?"

"You have some nerve." I wouldn't usually talk to him like that, but the strength my labor took gave me courage.

"Don't start. I'm here, okay?" He snarled. "What's up, Tech?"

"What's up?"

"I appreciate you looking out for wifey, man. You know, getting her here safely."

"You got it, bro. Look, it's been a long night and I have work in a few hours. I'm heading back to the crib."

"Tech, you didn't tell me that you had to work. I would've called an ambulance."

"Don't worry. As long as Kelsi is good."

"Kelsi. I like that," Des said.

Tech smiled at me and handed the baby to Des. "I'll be back tomorrow to check on you." He left the room without another word.

Des stared at me as he sat down in the chair next to me. "She has your eyes."

"What took you so long?" I scoffed.

"The set lasted longer than expected. My phone died around midnight and I didn't get to my charger until I talked to Tech. I'm sorry, baby. You know I wouldn't purposefully miss the birth of my firstborn. Calm down, okay?"

"I'm as calm as it gets. I was back here by myself. I needed you." The tears wouldn't stop running down my face. "Nobody was here for me when I needed someone the most. Tech was the only one who was here and he couldn't even come back here because he wasn't you. The father is supposed to be in the delivery room."

"I said I was sorry. Stop crying. You're always tripping over nothing. Why do you want to ruin this?"

"You weren't here!" I shouted.

"Lower your voice. You're in the right place to keep talking crazy." He grabbed my arm and gripped it tightly. This was one of those warning signs I chose to ignore. That hurt I was feeling physically felt better than the hurt I felt emotionally. Maybe that's why I continuously let it slide. I knew I deserved better, but what was better? He promised he'd change. We were both under pressure.

He ran his hand down to mine before he kissed it. "I never mean to hurt you. I love you so much. You believe me, right?"

My nod gave life to his lie. "We have this beautiful child together. We're going to be a real family. You're going to be my wife and I'm going to do right by my two girls."

If a man is constantly talking to you about marrying you during situations like these, he is only doing so to shut you up. There was always talk, but no planning. It was his tactic. He did it to keep my mind on a future that would never happen. If I was thinking about the perfect home, I couldn't think about the house that was crumbling down. Des had the worst hold on me. He could do dirt and I would swear it wasn't really dirt. This is only where the problem started. There was much more to come.