Inside the Puzzle

Non-Consensual Coping

Honda's eyes grew wide as he processed Yugi's words. He couldn't understand them at first, but in truth, he felt as if though he shouldn't have been surprised by what the other had said to him. In their adventures as teens, he'd had to experience incredibly wild things that most people would institutionalize him for. Between getting sucked in the Shadow Realm by a taken over Bakura, to being turned into a monkey, to watching his best friend being taken over by a 3,000-year old spirit, there was no reason why this small piece of information would impact him so much. But it did.

He composed his face and regarded Yugi with a look of sympathy and sternness. "Yugi." He shook his head, watching as Yugi's face shifted into something that resembled guilt. Honda didn't understand it, but he continued. "I really think you need to get help."

Yugi was visibly shaking from how upset he was. He felt like he could stab everything that crossed his path, but his feet remained stuck in place where he stood. "I should've just kept my fucking mouth shut," he hissed through clenched teeth. "So fucking nice to know that my friends think I'm fucked in the head." He squeezed his hands into tight fists, his nails digging into his palms. He was trying to make himself bleed, to redirect his anger into the pain he was inflicting into his hands. He couldn't exactly grab a sharp object and cut himself in front of Honda.

Honda's expression changed to surprise at Yugi's words. "I never said that. Don't put words into my mouth, Yugi." He wasn't angry, but he was upset at Yugi's accusation. "I just think you could use the help. I don't understand where this plummet came from."

"Plummet?" Yugi echoed, teeth still clenched. "I've only been dropping for the last three years, Honda. I was trying to get better, but I'm not fucking kidding when I say Atem's trying to come back."

"Dude, you need to relax," Honda snapped. He caught himself before throwing a tangent of his own and reeled back his voice. "I'm going to say something to you again. I think what you're doing to yourself isn't healthy. You're putting these false images in your head about Atem coming back from the dead. You're doing it to put yourself in some fantasy land where you never have to cope. It's not good for you. I know this is hard to hear, Yugi, but you need to hear it. If Atem said he's coming back, it's a phony, one-sided conversation you had with him. He's not here anymore, Yugi. Your depression is bad and I'm sorry I didn't notice it before. I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend. But I'm not gonna entertain this idea that he's coming back."

He stopped talking when he saw Yugi shake his head.

"Just stop," Yugi said quietly, his words harsh. "The store is closed. I don't need your help anymore right now, Honda. You can go home."

This time, Honda really was angry. "No. Now you're being evasive and defensive. I'm telling you what you don't want to hear and not going along with what you're saying, so now you've put up a wall to push me away. I'm not playing this, Yugi. You need to talk to someone."

"No," Yugi snapped quickly. "What I need is to go home and for you to leave me alone. I have no reason to lie to you, Honda, and you're treating me like a mental case."

Honda opened his mouth to speak, but Yugi cut him off.

"I need to go home," he said flatly. "I'm going to assume you brought your own key. Thanks for helping me today." He brushed past Honda briskly, leaving the man to stand in place.

Honda heard the door open and close, but Yugi had made no attempts to lock it behind him. Honda shook his head, chastising himself. He truly felt that in more ways than one, he had become a terrible friend to the former duelist. To go from being titled The King of Games as a teenager, to a near-forgotten game shop owner? In truth, after losing Atem and his grandfather, Yugi was trying to run away from the title. Anything that had to deal with both men in Yugi's life, Yugi tried to push aside. But when there had been discussions on selling his grandfather's store, that was something Yugi wasn't willing to brush off. While he had been doing better before the delusions of Atem's return, Honda knew that Yugi was struggling to find some sort of inner peace with his demons.