Starlight // Shawn Mendes ON HOLD

"allergies are gonna kill me"

"Not really, I've always known, If I do die then it's my time to go. I'll be even happier up there, watching down on all of you. I'll be in first row to all your lifes." He smiled. "So, are you?"

"I'm afraid of dying alone. Not having anyone." I stopped for a second having to think. "being alone." I looked down.

It was a fear I had ever since my family died. What would happen if my friends and I would have a fight. Normally you'd always have your family's back. Not in my case. And I don't think that fear would ever go away.

"Hey" He whispered, taking my chin in his right hand before laying the cloth down. He pulled my face up, making me look at him. But I didn't want to. I shut my eyes, not being able to look at him with my tear filled eyes. "Look at me." He said again, making my eyes open on his demand.

"You'll never be alone. You'll always have us. We're not gonna leave you, you'll have our backs, no matter what" He reassured me. I still wasn't convinced, but that would come. "You won't get rid of us that easily." He joked, holding my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and mine around his back.

He laid his chin upon my head. I didn't know for how long we stood there in the bath room hugging. But I didn't care, I felt how the fear died down more by each second going by.

"Am I interrupting something?" A voice sounded up from beside us, making us look up, to see a weird looking Sabrina. I just really hoped she didn't think anything wrong.

"Wanna join in?" He smiled opening up his left arm and I opened my right. She sighed smiling walking our hug. Her sigh confirming, she did think something wrong for a second. She smiled and her warmth joined in on our hug.

Some time went by, without either of us even saying a word, but me, being the person I was, had to break the comfortable silence. "Guys" I said quietly and innocent. They slightly lifted their heads looking at me. Sabrina only now seeing the dried tears on my cheeks and sending me a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry to break this up but I'm actually starving."

They just got our of their hug, still holding the other partner with one arm each, looking at me. "Only you could say something like this without us hating you."

"C'mon lets go." Sabrina said quickly already heading down. And just when I wanted to go downstairs again too, a hand wrapped around my wrist stopped me.

"Wait a second Abby" He turned me around with his hands so I was looking at him. "We all love you, don't ever forget that, oaky?"

"okay" I smiled back at him.

We went downstairs again and got into the kitchen, where everyone was already sitting at the table, ready for breakfast.

We always waited till everyone in the house was at the table.

"What took you guys so long?" Sabs asked us, a smile plastered on her face.

"Just wanted to remind her how important she is." Anthony turned his head, looking at me and smiling.

"Guys sit down, I'm starving." Jonny whined from the other side of the table, his head in his hands.

We just laughed and sat down at the table.

Was this what happiness felt like? Sitting at the table with the people most important to you, them screaming at each other, begging for the jam. All of us laughing.

Was this what total happiness felt like?

Apparently it was not, because just about five minutes into breakfast, I felt my inner cheek starting to swell and me slowly losing the feeling in both of them.